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OKAY LADS, LET’S LISTEN TO SOME IRISH METAL!

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Is anyone still sober? No? Not a one of you?

GREAT! That makes this the perfect time to listen to something loud and obnoxious.

So. This morning I asked for some good suggestions for Irish metal bands, and suggestions you have been a-leavin’. I obviously can’t listen to every single band on this list because come on (and also a vast amount of you didn’t provide links, which is stinky), but I am now going to attempt to listen a whole bunch of ’em. Man, I hope that these bands so not suck.

OH! And before we go any further, Go raibh maith agat to for pointing out there is new Altar of Plagues music available right now. Headbang here. It’ll put hair on your ass.

And tá brón orm to Brendan McGregor, who pointed out that I wrote “Patty’s,” not “Paddy’s.” I apologize for this most heinous error… but I’m Jewish, so bear with me, okay? I’m trying here.

Okay! Here we go with the suggestions…

Drainland, suggested by gnarlk: Hey, we’re actually off to a good start for once! I’m digging this. It’s angry, filthy metallic hardcore, and it’s very nicely done. I just punched a monkey in the face, which is not a bad sign.

Mael Mordha, suggested by Ziltoid: Actual, honest-to-Michael Collins Celtic metal… I really like the music, but man, do I wanna punch this singer in the throat. Punch is a too strong a word. Maybe, like, just flick his Adam’s apple?

Curachan, suggested by David Shcherbelis and seconded by nepenthe: So neither of these nincompoops provided a link, but I felt bad for David for being named after a rare Russian STD, and decided to utilize Google. Well, I should not have wasted my time. This is bloody awful. Curachan is to Mael Mordha as Kenny G. is to Coleman Hawkins. Metal should never, ever remind the listener of the love theme from Titanic. In fact, nothing should ever remind anyone of the love theme from Titanic.

Mourning Beloveth, suggested by Mike H.: This wins. Since 1992 you say? Okay, well, shame on me. Epic, epic, EPIC death/doom.  GO, MIKE H., YOU GLORIOUS SON OF A BITCH, YOU!

I’ll Eat Your Face, suggested by Amzer: I think someone sent us this band ocne before. Why didn’t I write about then? Fuck, no idea. Anyways, I’m really digging it now. It’s instrumental prog-grind. Really cool stuff. Cool album art, too. Bonus points for having a song called “Eyes Full of Shit,” which not only has a nice ring to it, but also works on multiple levels. (Does the band mean “to have actual feces in one’s eyes,” or “for one’s dishonesty to shine through in his or her eyes” or something else altogether…?) I can definitely get behind this.

Warpath, suggested by Creepingdebt: Creepingdebt’s link was just for a YouTube video I’ve posted that below. Anyways, this is, uh, fine. It’s fine. Whatever.

Okay. It’s 3:28 and I have to hit “publish” now. I leave you with this:

-AR

 

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