Viral Vomit



Okay, so I had no fucking clue about this whole Rebecca Black/”Friday” phenomenon until a reader left a comment about it under one of our stories last week; then another reader sent us an e-mail bemoaning the fact that Black was so successful while brilliant metal musicians everywhere are struggling to make ends meet. And suddenly even Bob Lefsetz is talking about her.

So, yeah. Rebecca Black is hilariously untalented in every conceivable way — the amount of autoLaBonte she uses suggests that even her speaking voice is probably off-key, and she has the lyric writing prowess of an aborted retard fetus — and I imagine that that’s why she’s become such a sensation. I do not think there’s any reason to get upset about her “success” in the sense that even if right now she’s outselling everyone in the world at a ratio of a gajillion to one, her fifteen minutes are probably almost up. This is not a situation like the one we’ve run into with Britney Spears, where twelve years later it’s like “Holy crap I can’t believe this girl is still famous.” Unless Black and whomever is aiding her can write several more albums’ worth of stuff as hilariously idiotic as “Friday,” only VH1’s I Love the 10’s or whatever the fuck it will be called will remember this girl in twelve years. And if I’m wrong, well, I’ll just kill myself, because it will mean that Idiocracy was not fiction.

But let’s hope I’m not wrong. And while we ride out the wave of this nonsense, here’s the inevitable “clever” deathcore version of Black’s mega-hit, which was sent to us by our own Dave Mustein. I actually think this sounds even worse than Black’s original, but maybe it will give you a giggle.



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