NECESSARY ROUGHNESS: VINCE NEILSTEIN CALLS AN AUDIBLE FOR WEEK 9
The recent news surrounding the Gwar camp has left QB Dave Brockie on injured reserve, meaning Coach Neilstein is subbing himself in. A player/coach in football? Say it ain’t so… you’ll have to deal with my Jets-loving ass this week instead of Brockie’s Foreskin-worshipping ways.
One of the biggest games this weekend saw the Giants defeat The Patriots in a nail-biter that came down to the final 15 seconds. I think we can pretty much all agree that any time Tom Brady and the Patriots lose it’s a good day, but this loss has bigger implications on a number of levels. Eli Manning and The Giants are now running away with the NFC East, two full games ahead of a 4-4 Dallas team that doesn’t have the muster to compete with the big guys, while Philadelphia, the “Dream Team” that never was, sunk to 3-5 in a big Monday Night Football loss to the Chicago Bears that’ll leave those bratty sports fans in Philly fuming. I won’t say the Giants winning their division is a shoe-in, but with the Redskins, who lost again to a strong 7-1 San Francisco team, as the remaining team in the East, it’s looking pretty good for Big Blue.
Meanwhile, the Jets stomped their divisional rival Buffalo Bills in convincing fashion; the way they played it may as well have been a shut-out, with Buffalo scoring just one token field goal and a last-minute touchdown with the Jets’ defensive starters out of the game. The Bills are finally coming back down to earth after a torrid start, and the Jets appear to be turning things around after rough losses to Baltimore and New England and unconvincing wins over horrible teams like Miami. Mangold’s return is anchoring the O-line and giving Mark Sanchez plenty of time to lock up with a (finally!) rejuvenated Plaxico, Santonio Holmes, and rookie WR Jeremy Kerley, while Shonn Greene is grounding and pounding it out like he did down the stretch in 2009. The result is a 3-way divisional tie between the Jets, Bills and Patriots, all at 5-3, with the Jets facing the Patriots for the second time this season at home this coming Sunday. Look out!
In the battle of teams that can suck the hardest, the Dolphins finally scratched out their first win this week against the Chiefs while the Manning-less Colts continued their bid for a winless season by getting drubbed by the Falcons. Steelers fans are hurting after a rough loss to the Ravens, but hey, those Ravens looks damn good and Pittsburgh being a 3-loss team makes things a whole lot more interesting… plus, fuck Ben Rapelesberger.
The Detroit Lions didn’t play this week, but this petition by Detroit fans to replace Nickelback with some other band, ANY other band, as the performers at the halftime show of their Thanksgiving Classic game is highly amusing. A worthwhile cause, indeed!
And with that, I’m gonna head on back to the bench. Brockie will be back in action next week, so make sure to tune in.