NECESSARY ROUGHNESS, WEEK 10: A SAD, SAD WEEK FOR REDSKINS AND JETS FANS :(
Brockie’s still on injured reserve, so Coach Neilstein is back for another installment of Necessary Roughness. For my first time ever writing about football I think I did pretty ok last week, eh?
It was not a good week for the favorites teams of MetalSucks football columnists. I have it on good word that Brockie is ready to denounce his fandom of the Redskins in favor of the Ravens after D.C.’s finest got trounced by the lowly Miami Dolphins and have now lost five in a row. You know it’s bad when a team that was 0-7 not too long ago takes easy care of you. Don’t feel too bad, Brockie; you could be an Indianapolis fan. But then again, at least in that case you’d have been able to follow good teams for several years. So, uh, yeah… being a Skins fan sucks pretty bad right now. And the Ravens lost to the lowly Seahawks, too. Bad news all around if you’re from the mid-Atlantic region.
Meanwhile in the AFC East, all seemed set for my Jets to score a triumphant redemptive victory against the Patriots in their second matchup of the season after Dallas manhandled Buffalo earlier in the day, leaving New England and the Jets tied for first place. Unfortunately, it was not to be: the Patriots’ rag-tag third-string defenders held Mark Sanchez in check, and the Jets mighty defense got tuckered out and couldn’t keep Tom Brady and the Pats from scoring late in the game and putting it out of reach. An embarrassing loss to be sure, and a blow to the Jets’ pride that leaves them clinging to the hopes of a wild card playoff spot with 7 whole games left to play.
In news of teams that are actually good, the Packers continued their sparkling season by steamrolling over the Vikings in Monday night action to remain unbeaten. It looked as if the Giants were going to be able to hang in against the Niners with another miraculous comeback led by Eli Manning on Sunday afternoon, but San Francisco got the best of Big Blue, helped out in part by some questionable decision-making on a series of fourth downs by the Jints at game’s end. Pittsburgh righted the ship after a tough loss with a win over a surprising Cincinnati team, but Big Ben Rapelesburger broke his itty bitty wittle thumb. Awww, poor Ben! Elsewhere, Houston won their fourth straight over a struggling Tampa Bay. I really don’t give a shit about half these teams, but fuck it, I’ve got a job to do.
Hopefully by next week those ‘roids the trainers are giving Brockie will have him back out on the field, ’cause man, I’m really hacking it here, can’t you tell? May the Redskins and Jets finally get the wins they deserve.