Friggin' Danzig



Glenn Danzig Yelp

The Glenn Danzig legend has taken on a life of its own. There are so many good Danzig stories on an ongoing basis we may as well just create an MS category singularly devoted to the man himself — bam! Retroactively updated, natch.

Take a look at this one before Glenn’s army of zombie lawyers shuts it down: someone has created a fake Yelp profile for Glenn Danzig, and the results are exactly as hilarious as you might image. At least we think it’s fake, but we admit that his profile is mighty convincing (Hometown: “Hell.” Things I Love: “Murder.” When I’m Not Yelping: “Get that fucking camera out of my face.”).

Glenn “The Zen Master” D seems to reside in Austin, TX — 16 of the 20 reviews he’s posted are in or around Texas’s best city — but a review of The Waffle in Hollywood posted earlier today indicates a possible timely trip to NAMM and a typically grumpy disposition:

You call that a fucking fruit cup? There should be rules as to what fucking goes in and doesn’t go in a fucking fruit cup.

I asked 3 times for some asshole to spray whipped cream directly into my mouth, and the only answer I got was “I’m the valet guy, I don’t work in the kitchen”. What kind of fucking attitude is that?

Check it out “Waffle”. If Danzig wants whipped cream ejaculating directly in his mouth at a fancy fucking Waffle place, then Danzig gets WHAT HE FUCKING WANTS.

Try the red velvet waffle. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.

But don’t you worry, Glenn isn’t too bent up about The Waffle’s lack of french onion soup: he gave the restaurant — and all 20 of the other restaurants he’s reviewed — a perfect 5-star rating.

Kudos to the metal sleuths at Metal Insider for digging this one up.


Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits