Metal in the Media



Have a gander at this lulz/cringe-inducing press copy drummed up by some hapless intern at Mistress — the advertising agency for Jägermeister — for their new “Stronger Bond” marketing campaign:

Jägermeister is a strong drink for strong men, with strong bonds. Seven men at the top of their respective crafts were handpicked and brought together to form the ultimate bond. Each of these men in the Jägermeister “Stronger Bond” commercial not only had to embody the untamed edge of Jägermeister, but they also had to be a part of a group whose success relies on their strong bonds with others — one of the foremost social components of the brand. The bold new television advertising features five-time world champion bullfighter Rob Smets’ induction into this pantheon of legends, inclusive of an All-Pro fearless Wide Receiver, Rock Icon, World Champion Boxing Trainer, NASCAR Pit Crew Chief, Famed Street and Tattoo Artist and Big Wave Surfer, as he too has accomplished greatness and earned his Seat at the Table.

I mean wow, that’s some great shit, right?

Together, with the help of cinnamon-flavored liquor, we will bond — strongly — over Kerry King’s ability to write the same damned riff over and over and over and over again for the past 20 years.

Here’s a video of King explaining his “strong bond” to Slayer’s fans, set to EPIC PIANO MUSIC:


Metal Sucks Greatest Hits