Tour de Force

MELVINS TO TOUR ALL FIFTY STATES IN FIFTY-ONE DAYS

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Well, you can’t accuse the Melvins of lacking ambition.

The band — or the version known as “Melvins Lite” at least — has announced that they’re going to attempt to set the  Guinness World Record for the fastest tour, becoming the first band to hit all fifty states of the United, uh, States, in a mere fifty-one days. And as if that wasn’t crazy enough, the band is also playing a show in D.C., which, you non-‘Merican readers may not realize, is, like, not a state n’ stuff.

But that means — in case you haven’t done the math — that the band will actually play a show every day for fifty-one days. No days off. Holy shit. That’s, uh… well, that’s nuts, frankly. Bravo, I guess? I hope those dudes don’t just have one set list to play every night? I don’t know what else to say. The only thing I’ve ever done fifty-one days in a row is smoke weed and jerk off, so I tip my hat to these fellas.

Here are dates, via Lambgoat:

9/5 Anchorage, AK @ Bear Tooth Theatre and Pub
9/6 Seattle, WA @ Showbox at The Market
9/7 Oregon @ TBA
9/8 Boise, ID @ Neurolux Lounge
9/9 Missoula, MT @ Top Hat Lounge
9/10 Salt Lake City, UT @ Club Sound
9/11 Casper, WY @ TBA
9/12 Denver, CO @ Bluebird Theatre
9/13 Lawrence, KS @ The Bottleneck
9/14 Columbia, MO @ The Blue Note
9/15 Omaha, NE @ The Waiting Room
9/16 Des Moines, IA @ House of Bricks
9/17 Sioux Falls, SD @ The Vault
9/18 Fargo, ND @ The Aquarium
9/19 Minneapolis, MN @ Grumpy’s
9/20 Madison, WI @ High Noon Saloon
9/21 Chicago, IL @ Double Door
9/22 Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue Theatre
9/23 Louisville, KY @ The Vernon Club
9/24 Detroit, MI @ Smalls
9/25 Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop
9/26 Morgantown, WV @ 123 Pleasant Street
9/27 Jermyn, PA @ Eleanor Rigby’s
9/28 South Burlington, VT @ Higher Ground
9/29 Dover, NH @ Dover Brickhouse
9/30 Portland, ME @ Asylum
10/1 Boston, MA @ Paradise Rock Club
10/2 Pawtucket, RI @ The Met Cafe
10/3 New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place
10/4 Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
10/5 Hoboken, NJ @ Maxwell’s
10/6 Wilmington, DE @ Mojo 13
10/7 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar
10/8 Washington, DC @ Black Cat
10/9 Charlottesville, VA @ Jefferson Theatre
10/10 Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle
10/11 Knoxville, TN @ The Square Room
10/12 Greenville, SC @ The Handle Bar
10/13 Athens, GA @ 40 Watt Club
10/14 Birmingham, AL @ Bottle Tree
10/15 Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
10/16 Jackson, MS @ Duling Hall
10/17 Little Rock, AR @ Juanita’s Cantina
10/18 Baton Rouge, LA @ Spanish Moon
10/19 Austin, TX @ Mohawk
10/20 Norman, OK @ Opolis Production
10/21 Albuquerque, NM @ Launchpad
10/22 Phoenix, AZ @ Crescent Ballroom
10/23 Las Vegas, NV @ Artifice
10/24 Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood Forever Cemetery
10/25 Honolulu, HI @ The Republik

-AR

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