I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Oderus Urungus puts into concealing his giant alien cock.

We begin today with “Fuck Everything,” the new video by Suicide Silence. This is a completely average performance video; it’s neither good nor bad, but I imagine it will only appeal to hardcore Suicide Silence fans. It is kinda funny to see how excited the band makes jailbait, though. It’s actually a little surprising that they were so willing to show jumping, smiling girls in the clip — that is so not metal, dudes!

Next up we have “So You’re Afraid” by The Dude From Creed. Everything I said about the above Suicide Silence clip is also true of this one, minus the jailbait. This will be of interest only if you have a giant mancrush on Tremonti, or really just have nothing better to do for the next few minutes.

Moving right along: the literalEnglish title of Grave Digger’s “Zurück Nach Haus” is “After, Back Home,” and when the video started, I was like, “Wait, are they going to express that idea using Homer’s The Odyssey? That’s awesome!” But for some reason, absolutely no effort is made to dramatize the part of The Odyssesy when Odysseus has to deal with Penelope’s suitors; in other words, the song is called “After, Back Home,” but the video is really portraying “Before, Still Trying to Get Home.” SILLY GERMANS GOT IT ALL WRONG!

And we conclude today with Surrounded by Monsters’ “New Blood.” This is actually my favorite of today’s videos, because while it’s not like the greatest thing ever, there was an idea behind beyond “make the band look cool” and “tell a story that’s actually irrelevant to the theme of the song.” I also maintain my stance that while Surrounded by Monsters isn’t the greatest band ever or anything, they’re still a cut above most scene drek. And certainly, of the two young, up-and-coming bands with the word “monster” in their name, Surrounded by Monsters is vastly preferable to Monsters Bore You.


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