Necessary Roughness, Week 8: The Regular Season Reaches the Halfway Point
Greetings lovers of the pigskin! Here we are right in the middle of it… week eight. It’s the halfway point of the regular season. For now, anyway. I am sure within a few years we will be up to about 24 games or more, with games every day of the week. Of course England will have completely fallen for “football fever,” and they will have changed the name of their traditional sport, currently referred to as “football” by 95% of the world, completely abandoning their cultural identity in the process. That must be what they are hoping for, or why would they be playing games in London?
Didn’t they do that this week? I watched it and I can’t even remember who played… the stadium was so empty they only used one camera to shoot the audience, all of whom were paid to be there. But let’s not forget what I just remembered… that the 5-3 New England Patriots put on yet another display of supremacy in front of 437 snoring Brits, as Tom Brady and co. put 45 points on the board against the perpetually struggling St. Louis Rams (3-5). If we are going to have games in Europe, could we at least send them a good one? Or maybe the NFL did it to punish the English by making them look at those horrible Patriot uniforms. I want the drunken center back on the helmet, you know, not only to honor those that played football in the Revolutionary War, but because I hate that “cyber-Patriot” that’s on there now. Sure, I hate Brady (who put up four TD’s) and I hate Bellichek (who looks horrible naked), but it’s a good football hate, like they are super-foes who must be faced and defeated. But I fucking really HATE those uniforms. The Pats will be in it til’ the end and I doubt Sunday was the halfway point of their season. The Rams, now 3-5, continued to suffer, and with them a city. Don’t quite know what’s up with the Rams. Readers?
As far as the football played in the U.S.A., week eight featured lots of finger-pointing as some teams began to realize that their “slow-start” had led to a “steady-suck,” and that their seasons had indeed reached the halfway point in week eight. Amongst these were the Carolina Panthers (1-6) who dropped to the Chicago Bears (6-1, 23-22). A lot was made of Carolina QB Cam Newton’s impressive rookie debut, but unfortunately that was last year. This year the team’s inability to close games seems to have caught up with him and the Panthers are in the cellar of the NFC South. Da Bears mounted a furious fourth quarter comeback and overcame their clawed and furry opponents, occupying the top slot in the NFC North and rising to 6-1. It might not be pretty, but the Bears are winning. Their season is NOT halfway over.
The Indianapolis Colts are looking good as super-rookie QB Andrew Luck threw a 16-yd TD pass in OT to lead the Colts (4-3) over the stunned Tennessee Titans (3-5), 19-13. It’s great to see Luck finding ways to win, and the Colts fans not burning down the team’s offices for trading Peyton Manning. Speaking of Peyton Manning, it’s even greater to see that he seems to feel MUCH better after a slightly shaky start. The Denver Broncos’ (3-3) put a whuppin’ on the visiting New Orleans Saints (2-5). Peyton looked every bit his old self as he barked weird noises, did full-body mojoes (using only his eyes), and threw three TD passes on his way to a 34-14 ending of the resurgent Saints two-game winning streak.
But if folks in Denver and Indy are happy, the ones in Nawlins and New York (well, the Jets fans anyway) are decidedly bummed. Those lovable fish that wear helmets, otherwise known as the Miami Dolphins (4-3), went up to Jet country to play a game many expected them to lose… and they didn’t. The New York Jets (3-5) looked like… well… shit, and were embarrassed at home, 30-9. The rest of the New York football fans didn’t have much reason to be happy either, but they were at least relieved with a letter in the W column as the New York Giants (6-2) prevailed over the Dallas Cowboys (3-4) in their new stadium, where meddlesome-yet-loaded owner Jerry Jones had predicted his team would “kick the Giants butts”. There might have been some light butt-kicking, but there was more losing, and that gigantic TV clearly showed the reason why. Receiver Dez Bryant, trying to break his fall while making a miraculous catch with what would have been the winning TD pass, couldn’t quite stick the landing. A lot of people are giving Dez hell today and I say that is bullshit. He made an amazing play and it was close as heck. The Cowboys lost that game–they dug a hole for themselves early, somehow dug out, and then fell back in. Meanwhile the G-Men took advantage of four Romo interceptions and two additional Dallas turnovers to make up for a sub-par day from QB Eli Manning. Way to make Jerry Jones eat his words at home; I hope they tasted like been-in-the-saddle-for-three-weeks-on-a-cattle-drive cowboy balls.
Speaking of balls, the Washington Redskins (3-4) could do nothing but drop them as the Pittsburgh Steelers (4-3) looked solid yet stripy in their throwback baseball uniforms, beating my beloved Skins 27-12. But for RGIII it was another solid learning experience against one of the league’s best defenses, and as a Skins fan you can’t help but feel good at the halfway point. We probably won’t make the playoffs, but we finally have a QB. Kinda feels like we have an early Tiger Woods on the squad or something. Few athletes have created the buzz RGIII has, and I have tried to ignore it due to fear of the inevitable crushing letdown when you realize everything you were told and you swallowed hook-line-and-sinker was a complete lie. But not this time. I think he’s the real thing, and he’s a hell of a lot of fun to watch (unless you are playing against him). It’ll take a little time, but the kid’s a winner.
O.K., that’s all the games I have room and time for. You guys fill in the blanks. I caught Frank Caliendo’s act finally, and it looked funny… but wasn’t. So I looked away for a sec, turned back, and it was over. Did it get funny? The athlete’s comments after the game were typically retarded. It’s like all of them said the exact same thing, almost like they are trained that way… duh. And how many times are we going to have to listen to Andy Reid take the blame for his team’s loss? Sure, coaches and their staffs must bear the lion’s (or in this case, the Eagles’) share of the responsibility, but the team that was actually playing the game should get some too! The message it sends to your team is that they lost the game and it’s not their fault. Not smart, Andy. Your days in Philly are numbered. But, did I spell his name right?
Believe me, I want to share some more love and give way more hate, but other duties call. Like this GWAR tour that I am right in the middle of. I really appreciate your coverage of games I miss. So let’s finish this article! See ya next week.