CBS Issues E-Mail Warning: No Visible Boobies, Butts, “Puffy” Genitals, or Political Causes Allowed at The Grammys
This obviously isn’t really related to metal, seeing as the hard rock/metal category at The Grammys isn’t even televised anymore. It is, however, FUCKING HILARIOUS, so I posting it anyway.
This is apparently a real e-mail CBS’ standards and practices department sent out yesterday:
Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST
Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory
-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
So, to review, I could go to The Grammys on Sunday with no shirt on, but I could not go to The Grammys wearing a Sweet Relief Musicians Fund t-shirt, because that would be a visibly spelled-out organized cause. And my date could show her whole bikini line, so long as the “puffy” part of her vagina wasn’t visible.
Also, I think whomever wrote this deserves a round of applause for clarifying what kind of female nipples they were referring to. Had they not specified the ones on the breasts, I might have been, like, way confused.