Metal Mets

Anthrax “Honored” with Jerseys from Team of the Elitist Upper-Class 1%


Anthrax were recently “honored” when the special Yankees jerseys they had made for the 2011 Big Four show were placed on display in the stadium. “It’s always been my dream to be in a higher tax bracket and live in a completely different state,” said Anthrax guitarist, and New Yorker-turned-Californian, Scott Ian. “Now that that dream has come true, I figure it’s time to start backing the team of the privileged and over-paid! We’re thrilled the Yanks have decided to hang our jerseys in the stadium, even if they did put that yutz Caggiano front n’ center.”

Anthrax Yankee Jerseys

Vince Neilstein, co-founder of the popular heavy metal blog MetalSucks, took immediate action against Anthrax’s betrayal of the proletariat by donning his Daryl Strawberry jersey and staging a protest outside Yankee Stadium. “This is FUCKING BULLSHIT!” Neilstein said when asked for comment. “Ronnie James Dio would NOT approve, and I think Dimebag would would be pretty fuckin’ pissed, too. I know he wasn’t even from New York, but c’mon, no one who wrote ‘Medicine Man’ could POSSIBLY be a Yankess fan.”

Vince Protests Anthrax Yankees

Additional reporting by Matthew Cerrone


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