Metal Merch

Pentagram Bikinis: For the Classy Lady in Your Life

  • Axl Rosenberg

Today in shit you absolutely do not need: an Etsy shop called Etsy shop MASSblack is now selling pentagram bikinis and one-piece bathing suits, “for Goth girls who want Satanic Tan Lines,” according to the product description.



This is the kind of thing I find totally baffling. I mean I understand that it’s metal in theory, but it’s totally impractical because it seriously will give women a pentagram tan line, and that’s gonna look totally silly. Also, it’s overpriced: $55 for the bikini and an additional fourteen bucks if you want to cover your tummy. (Yes, it’s $69. How did it not occur to the purveyors of MASSblack that this would elicit chuckles? One dollar more or less, and it would have been a moot point!) Granted, I was not that familiar with the cost of women’s swimwear, but I did some research, and to buy a non-pentagram bikini from H&M would cost about $25. So this the equivalent of paying more than you should have to for a product just because it has a band’s logo on it, only this doesn’t even have a band’s logo on it (Pentagram would be the obvious choice) — just the promise of stupid people mistaking you for a very religious Jew all summer long.

If for some reason you want to buy one of these, go to MASSblack’s Etsy shop. They also sell inverted cross earrings in a variety of attractive colors.

[via Metal Insider]

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