Ozzy Can’t Even Make a Sandwich Without Causing a Disaster

Remember how The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years demonstrated that Ozzy can’t so much as pour a glass of orange juice without making a total mess?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=93D08WaaNtg

And that was in 1988! So what do you think happens when Ozzy tries to make himself a sandwich, with the aid of another twenty-five years of age/possible (likely) brain damage?

I’m in London, @OfficialOzzy is in LA making a bacon sandwich last night and the fire brigade ended up at our house!!

— Sharon Osbourne (@MrsSOsbourne) August 28, 2013

Metal Insider points out that this is the second time this year that Ozzy has nearly burned his house down. These are usually the kinds of signs that one should put an aging parent in a home for old folks. I understand that this may not be a realistic possibility in Ozzy’s case, because for some reason he has to keep touring until he dies or the world ends, whichever comes first. But, surely, they can at least afford a nice lady to come to the house and look after the dude and make him the occasional bacon sammy, no???