Tour de Force

Sevendust Latest Victims of Ghost’s Mad Foosball Skills

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sevendust ghost foosball

Sevendust are the latest band to lose a game of foosball to the mysterious ghouls in Ghost. Like previous losers Trivium, Whitechapel, and Chimaira, Sevendust will now be forced to open for Asking Alexandria as penance for their loss — but worse even still, other bands on the tour will include All That Remains, For Today, and Emmure.

“They went double-or-nothing,” an inside source close to 7D told MetalSucks, speaking only on condition of anonymity. “Morgan [Rose, drums] has made the band practice for five hours a day six days a week for the past month preparing for this. He really thought he had them licked. But those dudes in Ghost are just sick foosballers. They have a playboook and everything!”

The band has now retreated to their rehearsal studio to prepare for their month of hell. “They’re picking a setlist with maximum amount of rapping, and Lajon [Witherspoon, vocals] has hired a new vocal coach to un-teach him everything he knows about singing so he’ll appeal to all the Phil Labonte fans,” our source says. “It’s the damndest thing, hearing him trying to sing off-key.”

Meanwhile, Ghost’s latest victory may provide some new clues as to the band members’ true identities, asserts our source: “The rumor going around now is that they’re actually Asking Alexandria’s booking agents. That’s why all their music sounds retro — they’re just recycling old riffs because music isn’t their primary concern. They’re the best scam artists in the world.”

As of this writing, MetalSucks has been unable to obtain evidence confirming this rumor — but we will, of course, keep you updated. In the meantime, here are dates for the trek through which 7D now must suffer:

10/25 Dallas, TX – KEGL Freakers Ball
10/26 Lubbock, TX – KFMX Freak Fest
10/27 San Antonio, TX – Backstage Live
10/29 Nashville, TN – War Memorial Auditorium
10/30 Knoxville, TN – Club NV
10/31 Atlanta, GA – The Masquerade
11/01 Charlotte, NC – Amos Southend
11/02 Lancaster, PA – Freedom Hall Convention Center
11/03 Poughkeepsie, NY – Mid Hudson Civic Center
11/05 Buffalo, NY – Rapids Theatre
11/06 Washington, DC – 930 Club
11/08 Flint, MI – Machine Shop
11/09 Milwaukee, WI – Eagles Ballroom
11/10 Cleveland, OH – Wolstein Center
11/13 Grand Rapids, MI – The Orbit Room
11/14 St. Louis, MO – The Pageant
11/15 Memphis, TN – Minglewood Hall
11/17 Tulsa, OK – Brady Theater
11/19 Grand Junction, CO – Mesa Theater
11/22 San Diego, CA Soma

[via The PRP]

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