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GOOD MORNING, MEET HESSIANHUNTER!

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AWK

What’s up, my Suckalos? As I write these opening words to my inaugural post on my most beloved of blogs, MetalSucks, it is approaching 6:30 AM Central Time on Friday November 1st. If you were on time to work and started your procrastination promptly, you could be reading this as early as 10 AM Eastern time, 2.5 hours in the future! It’s been a long night to end a long few days of brainstorming, writing, re-writing, and assigning and editing a host of guest columns. That’s right; you’re getting several posts from yours truly, but you’ll be hearing plenty from my immensely talented peers in the Minnesota metal community. There’s a healthy mix in store of metal, non-metal, and dumb shit I find funny.

Let’s start the morning off right. Longhairs like to argue about the heaviest riff of all time, but I’m here to settle the matter once and for all. Stone Temple Pilot’s “Dead and Bloated” is the absolute heaviest; there can be no greater. You may think you know the song, but give it another listen and see if a deeper, more sinister quality than you remember comes to the surface…

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