Please Kill Me

The Nu-Metal Revival Apocalypse Grows More Dire, Overtakes Metal Hammer Magazine

  • Axl Rosenberg

Have you guys seen the cover for the new issue of Metal Hammer? No, not that really rad one where all these famous metal dudes are Star Wars characters. I mean the nu-new issue:

Metal Hammer Nu-Metal Issue

My first thoughts upon seeing this?

  • Dear
  • Christ
  • NO

And then I found myself with oh so many questions:

  • Is “I say ‘yes’ to everything” really the best pull quote they had from Limp Bizkit? Isn’t Limp Bizkit’s entire career evidence that every member of the band said “yes” to everything? I mean, Wes Borland is now obligated to dress like a Tiki doll for the rest of his professional life. CLEARLY the man hasn’t said “no” since the last time someone asked him if he’s ever said the word “no” before.
  • Why is the “that” in the “that first album” bit under Slipknot in bold? Did I miss something? Is Slipknot the Citizen Kane of nu-metal albums or something? Isn’t Iowa a million percent better based on the simple fact that it has about 90% less rapping and record scratching?
  • Is that Chester Bennington photo the best thing ever or what? Imagined words of Photographer when Chester entered the room: “Wow, Chester, first of all, please allow me to compliment you on your amazing fashion sense. That dog collar is both elegant and edgy. And who does your hair? Rotten-egg yellow! So chic! Now if you could just stand over there and hug yourself while mimicking the facial expression of a petulant child, I think we can get this done pretty quickly.”

And in conclusion, I’d just like to add:


[via The PRP]


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