Please Kill Me

The Nu-Metal Revival Apocalypse Grows More Dire, Overtakes Metal Hammer Magazine

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Have you guys seen the cover for the new issue of Metal Hammer? No, not that really rad one where all these famous metal dudes are Star Wars characters. I mean the nu-new issue:

Metal Hammer Nu-Metal Issue

My first thoughts upon seeing this?

  • Dear
  • Christ
  • NO

And then I found myself with oh so many questions:

  • Is “I say ‘yes’ to everything” really the best pull quote they had from Limp Bizkit? Isn’t Limp Bizkit’s entire career evidence that every member of the band said “yes” to everything? I mean, Wes Borland is now obligated to dress like a Tiki doll for the rest of his professional life. CLEARLY the man hasn’t said “no” since the last time someone asked him if he’s ever said the word “no” before.
  • Why is the “that” in the “that first album” bit under Slipknot in bold? Did I miss something? Is Slipknot the Citizen Kane of nu-metal albums or something? Isn’t Iowa a million percent better based on the simple fact that it has about 90% less rapping and record scratching?
  • Is that Chester Bennington photo the best thing ever or what? Imagined words of Photographer when Chester entered the room: “Wow, Chester, first of all, please allow me to compliment you on your amazing fashion sense. That dog collar is both elegant and edgy. And who does your hair? Rotten-egg yellow! So chic! Now if you could just stand over there and hug yourself while mimicking the facial expression of a petulant child, I think we can get this done pretty quickly.”

And in conclusion, I’d just like to add:

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[via The PRP]

 

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