Editorials

Mötley Crüe Reneging on Retirement Already

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Old Motley Crue

Oh, Mötley Crüe, you tricky bastards!

I don’t think I was alone in assuming that when The Crüe recently announced their farewell tour, they were, like, saying farewell n’ stuff. My assumption was largely based on the band’s repeated use of tomb stone imagery in the tour’s promotional materials, complete with “R.I.P.” engravings. Because while I’m no scientist, I do know that once you’re dead and buried, you’re done. In the words of Enabler, “No one is coming back from the dead.”

Motley Crue All Bad Things Must Come to an EndMotley Crue Final Tour Press Conference

Well, put me in a sports car being driven by a highly intoxicated Vince Neil and call me fucked, because I guess I didn’t read the fine print closely enough. See, the tour is called “The Final Tour,” not the “Farewell Tour,” which means that Mötley Crüe can keep making music and, so long as they don’t tour, they will technically never have lied to their fans.

Which is apparently what’s going to happen! During a recent interview with 93.3KDKB, Neil had the following to say:

“Here’s the thing – Mötley Crüe’s not breaking up. We’re still going to be making music. We’re still selling merchandise and stuff. We’ll make music; do songs for certain things. Motley Crue will still be around. We’re just not going to tour any more. That’s really kind of it.”

There are some bands where I would totally get it if they decided to basically become a studio-only project; Mötley Crüe is not one of those bands. They haven’t made a good album since Dr. Feelgood, for cryin’ out loud! They are the very definition of a “legacy act.” No one goes to see them live and is like, “Man, I really hope they play some shit from Saints of Los Angeles.” If they did a concert and DIDN’T play “Home Sweet Home,” the crowd would probably riot.

And it’s not as though the sales figures are really there to back up the band’s decision: Saints sold 99,000 copies in its first week of release in 2008, which sounds impressive by metal standards, until you consider that just a few months later, Metallica’s Death Magnetic sold nearly five times as many copies in its first week of release, and even Guns N’ Roses notorious bomb Chinese Democracy sold about 2 1/2 many copies in its first week of release. In 2010, AC/DC’s greatest hits package for the movie Iron Man 2 sold just as well as Saints, and it didn’t even have any new material on it. Fuck, just last year, Avenged Sevenfold’s Hail to the King sold 159,000 copies right out of the gate.

Get my point? New Mötley Crüe music should exist only to give us a chance to hear old Mötley Crüe music. Otherwise, songs like these become even more pointless than they already were:

[via Classic Rock]

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