What the...??

Note to Self: Never Hire Maynard from Tool’s Interior Decorator

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Metal Insider reports that Curbed L.A. reports that Tool vocalist Maynard James Keenan reports that he’d like to sell his Hollywood Hills mansion for a cool $2.795 million. But that’s not really news in and of itself. Rich people have expensive homes and sometimes they sell those expensive homes for ridiculous amounts of money and if it makes you unhappy well maybe you should have tried writing “Sober.”

What is news, though, is that Maynard’s house is apparently quite Maynarded, which is to say, not fucking normal. It’s like one of those Vegas suites with a theme, the theme in this case apparently being either “Arabian Nights” or “Liberace Moves to New Mexico.” Look:

keenan-21Keenan House 2Keenan House 4 Keenan House 3Keenan House 6 Kennan House 5

On the one hand, I can’t for the life of me imagine how the hell anyone actually exists in such an environment, and on the other hand, once again, I’m not the guy who wrote “Stinkfist” or “46 & 2,” so Maynard clearly knows something I don’t. Like how to feel as though you’re living in an old Floridian Jew’s bad LSD trip at all times.

He does have a neat view, though:

Keenan House View

You can check out more pics over at Metal Insider.

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