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“Win” Dinner with Bret Michaels

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Win Dinner with Bret Michaels

Poison’s Bret Michaels is now holding a contest whereby if you post enough about his new single on Facebook and Twitter, you and a guest will “get to” have dinner with Bret on his tour bus. Which really does show how much things have changed since Poison’s heyday, when to get onto Bret’s tour bus, you had to whore out your body, not your social network accounts.

I’m kidding, of course. Things haven’t changed at all. As of this writing, ONE of the top twenty-four contestants is male. So this contest is basically to help Bret promote his shit and have groupies delivered directly to his door.

The best part of this whole thing, though, is the press release, which praises Bret for his “emotional sincerity” and “eloquent transcendence,” and talks about his music video as though it were a fucking Powell and Pressburger film (it ain’t). Here it is in its entirety, courtesy of Bring Back Glam!. It’s long, but definitely funny enough to warrant a reading:

Los Angeles, CA: On April 1, iconic singer/songwriter Bret Michaels released “A Beautiful Soul,” a heartfelt new solo single, to a worldwide audience. Celebrating the release on the April 2 edition of “Oprah’s Lifeclass,” a groundbreaking program on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Michaels performed “A Beautiful Soul,” making an instant splash around the globe as millions of viewers from various countries were tuned in to this interactive TV show. The full 75-minute episode is available on demand at http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Full-Episode-Lifeclass-with-Bret-Michaels-Video and the digital single is available at all digital retailers and streaming services.

In the accompanying music video for “A Beautiful Soul,” rich vivid colors add poignancy to the emotional sincerity of the Michaels’ lyrics about love and loss. It’s a powerful combination of sentiment and imagery that resonates immediately, and deeply, to all those encounter it. Evidence of its cultural impact has been swift and pronounced as the video has generated over 2 million views in its first three weeks.

To shine a further light on Bret’s eloquent transcendence, a two-round contest is running from April 12, 2014 to May 16, 2014 with one Grand Prize winner receiving a dinner for two with Michaels on his personal bus at a secret location. During round one from April 12, 2014 to April 30, 2014 at 12 PM EST, contestants will accumulate entries into the giveaway by sharing the video for “A Beautiful Soul,” via Facebook and Twitter, while simultaneously gathering votes from views of the video on their personal profile page at the official contest web site. From there, the Top 24 contestants (“Soulstars”) with the most votes and shares, combined, from round one will move on to round two, which runs from April 30, 2014 at 3 PM EST to May 16, 2014 at 12 PM EST. The Grand Prize winner will be determined by the user who gets the most votes and social shares. A 2nd Place winner will receive an iPod Touch pre-loaded with Bret’s music. Full details and rules are available at http://www.dinnerwithbret.com.
 

Man, you know what would make me SO HAPPY? If a MetalSucks reader would win this contest. Seriously. Than he or she could ask Bret the meaningful questions I’ll never get to, like “What the fuck, dude?”, “Seriously, though, what the fuck, dude?”, and “What the fucking fuck, dude?!”.

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