Dark Apostle Made the Best Black Metal Video of All Time


Dark Apostle Live PhotoHave you ever seen a guy wear glasses over his corpse paint before? Personally, I can’t recall a single other instance of this unique aesthetic approach, and a Google image search turned up just a single photo of someone opting not to remove their spectacles for the sake of all that is tr00.

So I suppose that Dark Apostle’s bassit/vocalist, whose name is either Advorsus or Drew, is something of a groundbreaker — because in the band’s new video for the song “The Judas Cradle,” he does, indeed, wear his glasses over his corpse paint. (Based on the above photo, it would seem that he does this live, too. It would appear that the drummer, whose name is either Arcus Lidius or Russ, also dons a backwards baseball cap with his corpse paint, which is also a unique look… although, alas, he doesn’t do it the “Cradle” clip.) I mean, it’s 2014, and if corpse paint was ever really, truly scary, it sure as hell isn’t now; still, the glasses just make the whole thing look 100% more ridiculous. It would be kind of brilliant, if he were doing it for the sake of comedy. Alas, I fear this is not the case. Why doesn’t he wear contacts, just go blurry during performances, or, y’know, ditch the corpse paint altogether? (That may sound discriminatory against the visually impaired, but being a four eyes myself, I’m allowed to make that joke.)

Of course, this would be excusable if Dark Apostle’s music were awesome. Hell, even if the rest of the “Judas” video were okay, I’d be inclined to let it slide. But the whole thing is just so incredibly cheap and bad… it’s one of those things where you’re just like, “How did anyone involved in the creation of this think it was okay?” And then you read the YouTube description, which includes the lines “The debut music video from Topeka, KS premier black metal band!” and “Dark Apostle on Facebook” without a fucking link to their Facebook page, and you realize, “Oh, education really is everything.”

Thanks: Rob O.

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