Oh I See What Neil Turbin Did There
As I’ve said before, I really like Anthrax’s Fistful of Metal; sure, the band was still finding their sound, but that doesn’t mean the album doesn’t rip. So I would honestly love nothing more than for Neil Turbin — Anthrax’s original vocalist, whose sole recording with the band is Fistful — to be a cool dude. Also, because that would allow me to keep pretending I’d rather having Turbin in ‘Thrax than Joey Belladonna.
Unfortunately, Neil Turbin is not very cool, and I think I actually do prefer Joey Belladonna, which, y’know, is really something. I guess I should amend this list.
Turbin’s crime? (Besides having a horrible fashion sense, I mean.) Well, as you’re probably aware, one of the most famous songs from Fistful of Metal is “Deathrider,” which, of course, features the lyric “We ride with death tonight.” So Turbin named his band Deathriders — which would be cheesy enough — but then he slopped on an unhealthy helping of melted Gouda by writing a song called “Ride with Death.”
Does Turbin not know any other words? Is he afraid that people won’t know he used to be in Anthrax? Doesn’t the fact that the only people who have ever uttered the name “Neil Turbin” without adding “former singer for Anthrax” work at the DMV kinda make it clear that EVERYONE knows he used to be in Anthrax?
I guess we should just be grateful he didn’t call his band Cow Disease or Bacillus Anthracis or Antrax or something.
Deathriders’ new album should be out later this year. Here’s the tracklist for ya:
- “Ride with Death”
- “With Death We Ride”
- “Ride Alongside Death”
- “With Death Do We Ride”
- “Ride Beside Death”
- “We Do Ride with Death”
- “Ride with Megadeth” (featuring Matt Kisselstein)
- “With Death Ride We”
- “With Death Ride We Do”
- “I Used to be in Anthrax, and I Sang on the Song ‘Deathrider’”