Viral Vomit

And Now, a Metal Version of the Bagel Bites Commercial Jingle

  • Axl Rosenberg

As Jews from New York, bagels have been one of the cornerstones of our diets for as long as we can remember. Vince and myself — and MetalGF, for that matter! — have spent much time discussing and debating which bagelries have the finest goods, whose bagels manage to be soft and moist and not soggy or teeth-chippingly hard, and who serves the most delicious toppings to those bagels, too.

Which is all a very long way of telling you that I don’t understand the appeal of Bagel Bites. I would never buy frozen, pre-made pizza bagels — or any kind of frozen, pre-made bagel for that matter — regardless of the convenience or adorability of their size. There are too many delicious bagel options within walking distance of the MetalSucks Mansion to settle for such crap.

That being said, the Bagel Bites song is definitely one of the catchier commercial jingles, the kind of thing which will get stuck in your head for hours and hours until you finally wanna blow your brains out just to make it stop.

Reader Sloan Stewart and his pal, Cody Doesnthavealastname, made this metal version of the Bagel Bites jingle, which is very much in the style of Slayer. So, at least now, when you have this song stuck in your head, it will be in a form that doesn’t sound quite so unrealistically cheery. Enjoy.

Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits