Green Eggs and Slam

did JOB FOR A COWBOY let metal nerds ruin their career???

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DECISION MATRIX

For some reason, 99% of all deathcore bands at one point or another seem to go thru a phase where they feel the need to earn the approval of “real metal” fans– the same people who have been calling them a “gay scene band” for the last 5 years. I am unsure why this is such a common thing, but what I *am* sure of is that it never, ever EVER works out. And perhaps the most tragic example of all is the sad tale of Myspace sensations JOB FOR A COWBOY.

if ur trying to tell me that u didn’t have this song on ur myspace, i don’t believe u. WE ALL DID, BRUH.

Back in 2005-6, a little band called JOB FOR A COWBOY dropped an EP that took the scene by a storm. They came out of nowhere with a version of deathcore that was super brutal yet super catchy, easily 10 years ahead of its time. Everybody lost their shit over the band and they were poised to be the Next Big Thing. But then something happened– JFAC somehow got the notion that instead of riding the deathcore wave, they should try to be a Real Metal band.

newer JFAC sounds like 2004 morbid angle (ie, the crappy MA albums)– or maybe something even more generic like say MONSTROSITY or BRUTALITY

Fast forward a few years and my how the tables have turned. Bands who were once their peers like BMTH, A DAY TO REMEMBER, SUICIDE SILENCE, and WHITECHAPEL are Billboard top 10-20 material, and well, JFAC kind of fell by the wayside. Yes, they’re “real metal” now… but maybe “real metal” isn’t such a great place to be *gulp*

jfac ruin

the results speak for themselves– sub-500k viewcount after 4 years online… ouch :/

YOU GOT YOUR WISH, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED??? IS IT???? I HOPE YOURE FUCKING HAPPY NOW!!!! *shakes fist at sky*

My friends, let this be a cautionary tale. Don’t take this as a dis on JFAC, because I get it. There was once a time in my life where I too lusted after the approval of “Real Metal” fans– and it brought me nothing but misery. As my mother always told me, “be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.” Don’t make the same mistake as JFAC and my friends in WINDS OF PLAGUE, derailing your career by trying to win the approval of ponytailed, neckbeard virgins who spend their (plentiful) free time debating whether your band should be listed on Metal Archives. Not only is it impossible to ever win their approval once you’ve been labeled as a “scene fag,” why would u ever even want it?! Hm, let me see… play to 9k hot girls like ISSUES did last night, or 450 neckbeards with aspergers and BEHEMOTH shirts… TOUGH CALL.

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