Dear Dolving

MetalSucks Presents “Dear Dolving,” a New Advice Column by Peter Dolving!!!

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dear dolving

Welcome to “Dear Dolving,” a new column on MetalSucks in which renaissance man and all around life-guru Peter Dolving (you may know him as the vocalist for House of DolvingIAMFIRE, Rosvo, or, formerly, The Haunted) will offer, in his own words, “Advice on all the precarious and most intimate things in life, handled in an unsensitive and rather inappropriate manner.” 

Below, learn a little something from Dolving’s initial entry, in which he helps a young man who feels conflicted about his sexuality. Leave questions for Dolving in the comments section below, and he may answer your query in a future column!!!

Dear Dolving,

Why does a guy, get a hard on while sitting in van full of other dudes going to or from a show? Am I gay?

-Worried

Dolving replies:

Um.

Well, no. Your friends, however, are all part of a hardcore male on male BDSM-cult.

You may feel left out. Because you are. They simply don’t WANT to smack your assand let you call them “Daddy.”

Actually – it’s a physical, instinctual response that most mammals on the planet share — but people are the only ones dumb enough to worry about it.

When we feel good, we relax, and sometimes our body just feels so good that it gets a hard on. Nope, it’s not sexual… unless you feel a direct and clearly-manifested attraction to a specific individual or individuals. You penis is a limb of your body. Not the person to keep point…

But seriously? Jesus wept.

/PD

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