Informal Reader Poll: Whose Merch Can You Just Not Wear?

Every closet in the MetalSucks Mansion.
Every closet in the MetalSucks Mansion.

The other night, I caught King Parrot opening for Weedeater, and man, they fucking killed it. The crowd loved them, and the band was just chock-full of energy. It was a blast. Afterwards, a friend and I were talking, and I brought up maybe hitting their merch table.

“I dunno, man,” he said. “They were amazing, but I’m not sure I want to walk around with a shirt that says ‘KING PARROT’ on it.” He had a point. I ended up putting money in their tip jar instead.

But it got me thinking: there are some bands I love, but of whom I would never wear a tour shirt. Whether it’s their name, reputation, or imagery, something about them puts me off. I felt that way about The Black Dahlia Murder for a while because all of their merch had lots of bright pinks and blues on it. I just don’t like highlighter colors.

So, you tell us: whose merch can’t you wear? Is it a band with a ridiculous name? An extreme metal band whose imagery is so vile, you just don’t want anyone to see it? (Looking at you, Devourment!) Is it a guilty pleasure band whose music you love but who you don’t want your friends to know you love?

Post your replies in the comments section below.


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