Metal Mysteries

Metallica’s Lars Ulrich Blames “Butt Shadow” for Thong-Gate

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I can honestly say I have no devoted more time to Lars Ulrich’s ass than I ever thought I would

Yesteday, this photo of Lars Ulrich performing at Rock in Rio USA over the weekend hit the net, and we all had a good chuckle because Lars Ulrich wears a thong LOLOLOL DUDE IN A  THONG!, right?

lars ulrich in a thong

Well, in a true sign of the times, TMZ went so far as to reach out to Ulrich’s peeps to see if it was true — and said peeps are blaming it on “butt shadow”:

“A rep for Ulrich tells us what appears to be red undies in the viral pic is just the shadow of Lars’ shirt — created by stage lighting. In fact, Lars is actually going commando in the shot, so what you’re really staring intently at… is his ass crack.”

Funny enough, earlier today Frank from Metal Injection stood up for Ulrich in a series of personal e-mails between the two of us, Vince, and Rob from Metal Injection. He even went so far as to provide visual evidence!

1. You can clearly see a grade in opacity as the shadow fades, something that clearly doesn’t happen with material since it’s not light. The shadow also goes past his skin onto his jeans. 

2. Unless he is wearing undies where the elastic band is so old and loose that it no longer holds a proper shape, this is shadow. Lars wears designer jeans to play in, you think he’s going to skimp on the undies?

3. The shadow from his left arm onto his leg follows the same exact direction as the shadow in question. It’s from the same light source in the south east corner of the stage. lars-ulrich-in-a-thong shadow diagram

In conclusion: first world white people have way too much free time on their hands.

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