Photo Caption Contest: Win a Wolfheart CD + T-Shirt
Last week we put our usual Photo Caption Contest on hold while we conducted a very special contest on its own: five winners who wrote an epitaph for their least favorite band of all time would win a limited edition copy of Ramming Speed’s Epitaph 7″! Fun times. Here are the winning epitaphs:
- Mike Harras:Bang & Flash … You daren’t Miss
Bring your Cash … a moment with KISS
Seventies Glam, Eighties Schlock
Tacky merch… a pen, a clock
Four decades spent of substance under style
And replacement of talent all the while
It took four in make-up to play the party band
It was two that made up the corporate name-brand
So, Simmons & Stanley we held most guilty
The best tunes were by the guitarist,
so we didn’t judge Frehley.
- Todd Zigretti:
Here Lies As I Lay Dying.
They Lay Dying as the first band to literally live up to their name.
Or Die up to their name.
Tim died lying about trying to kill his wife.
He then died laying in prison.
- J Clark:
Oh what a tremendously sad day. We have all gathered here to celebrate the untimely demise of Nickleback. Is it too soon to call them (Dicklecrack)? Chad K and gang gave it their all for so many years and gave the rest of us Canadians a goddamn headache and the shame of sharing the same country. Hmmm, sounds similar to another Canadian I would love the honour of presenting a eugoogally to, Celine Dion… stay on target… stay on target… breathe… don’t let all the no talent hoser ass wads get you all worked up… oh did I say that out loud? What was I talkin ‘boot? Oh yeah, hey Picklesack, rest in piss and eat a bag of pricks, eh?
At least we still have Devin Townsend fer fuckssake, fuckin-a right bud!
- Eric Jorrey:
Here lies Metallica, broken-hearted
Poor Lars made his snare sound as if someone had farted
They forgot how to riff
We still all miss Cliff
When they got together for St. Anger, who the hell let them get started?
- Troy Belford:
Fare thee well Crazytown, you were belligerent drunks and inspired many a butterfly tramp stamp.
This week we’re giving away a copy of Wolfheart’s new album Shadow World (listen here!) along with a Wolfheart t-shirt, pictured here. Alls ya gotta do is enter a funny caption to the photo below in the comments and we’ll choose a winner next week. Good luck!