For a Mere $500, You Can Pester Tool About Their New Album in Person

  • Axl Rosenberg

What is the most toolish thing Tool have ever done? Uh… how about charge $500 for a meet and greet? No, really: fans who wanna meet the much-worshipped quartet at their upcoming Halloween show in Tempe, AZ will be able to do so… for the low, low price of feeding a small third-world village for a week.

According to the band’s website, here’s what five Benjamin Franklins will buy you:

  • Live Q+A session with members of Tool
  • Gallery of rare artwork and mementos
  • Photo opportunity
  • One VIP merchandise pack with specialty items
  • Tool’s festival merchandise available for purchase

Well, thank CHRIST ON THE CROSS that Tool’s festival merchandise available for purchase. Here I thought the people who buy into this thing might actually go home with some money left in their wallets. Thank Maynard, the Eternal Shaman King, that they can spend every last penny on Tool.

Look: I fucking love Tool. I just think this is ri-goddamn-diculous. Metal Injection jokes that “all the questions [at the Q+A] will [probably] revolve around how long until the next album is released,” but I sincerely hope that is the truth. I hope every single question is just “When is the new album coming out?” Over and over and over. Just a No Exit-style existential nightmare of the same question on repeat. It would be so very painful for the band, but, y’know. Let the punishment fit the crime.

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