Chris Holmes Deeply Misunderstands Why Lemmy Didn’t Want Him in Motörhead
In case you’ve drank him out of your memory, Chris Holmes is the former guitarist of hair metallers W.A.S.P., best known for chugging a bottle of vodka in front of his disappointed mother in The Decline of Western Civilization Pt. II. But modern metalheads also know him as the charming artist who created “They All Lie And Cheat” and “Born, Work, Die,” both of which would’ve become chart-topping sensations if not for black culture poisoning today’s youth.
But according to a recent interview Holmes did with a Swedish newspaper, there was a time when he could’ve been a member of Motörhead — if only Lemmy wasn’t so afraid of being overshadowed by his rockin’ attiteeeeewd!
Here’s how Holmes said it went down:
“[Guitarists] Würzel [Michael Burston] and Phil [Campbell] were in Motörhead then, so I went, ‘Throw Würzel or Phil out and let me be in your band!’ [Lemmy] looks at me and says, ‘Chris, are you serious? I wouldn’t play with you for a second.’
Let’s just take a moment here to acknowledge Lemmy’s eternal wisdom in these matters. Rest in power, dude.
“I got so mad and said, ‘I’m easy on the road.’
You… chugged a bottle of vodka in front of your mother, dude. Even Lemmy sipped his Jack. “Easy on the road?” You seem like seventy train wrecks.
“Lemmy looks at me again and says, ‘It’s not about what you’re like on the road. It’s about what you’re doing on stage.’ Then I got even madder, and he goes, ‘Let’s say, for instance, that I was in the middle of a verse. You would probably be standing right in front of me.’ I thought about it, and he was absolutely right. Especially if he told me not to do that, I’d have to do it just to piss him off. What he meant was, of course, that he didn’t want me overshadowing him. It didn’t bum me out, though. Everybody’s different, and their personality really comes out on stage. The people in the real bands are like that.”
Hold on — what? Dude, how could you possibly think Lemmy was worried you’d overshadow him? Lemmy was Lemmy. His funeral is being broadcast across the world and his memorial is taking up the entire Sunset Strip. When he passed away, his band ended; last I checked, your old band is still out there without you, singing about Jesus. You really broke out the mat for this one.
I can’t speak for Lemmy — I wouldn’t dare — but what I get from this story isn’t that he was worried you’d overshadow him, it’s that he thought you were an asshole. He didn’t think you’d be too big to share the stage with him, but that you’d act like a showboat dickhead and would try to make the entire performance about yourself rather than Motörhead. Or maybe he just thought you smelled awful.
Anyway, the whole interview is available here, which also includes some nice shit-talking about Lemmy before the dude is even cold in his grave. Let’s take a look at one more classic Chris Holmes quote before we go:
“Too bad [Lemmy] didn’t die on stage. That’s probably where he would have wanted to die. Like [late Pantera guitarist] Dimebag.”
Yeah, Chris, that’s it. Lemmy would have wanted to be murdered by a psychopath in front of thousands of Motörhead fans.
Fuck this cretin.