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Marilyn Manson To Cut Hair, Throats In Latest Season of Salem

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As a childish pothead, I watch a lot of cartoons, one of which is a show called The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, which is basically about a little blonde sailor boy who’s always in danger of being molested by pirates. Anyway, there’s a character in the show named Dr. Barber, who’s a barber sometimes and an amateur surgeon most of the time. And when I looked into this terrifying character, I discovered that barber-surgeons actually used to be a common phenomenon. If you were able to wield a razor to shave someone’s cheek, you were believed to be equally talented at severing gangrenous limbs.

I bring all this up because Marilyn Manson has just landed the role of a barber-surgeon on the WGN show Salem, about, you guessed it, the Salem witch trials. The show describes Manson’s role as “”barber and surgeon who is the go-to man in Salem, from a shave and a haircut to being leeched, bled, sliced open or sewn up.”

Which, if you ask me, is a perfect role for Manson. Back in the day, part of being a barber was being a bit of an outlandish showman, who would sling miracle tonic and prescribe the latest cosmetic treatments between shaving around goiters. Obviously, Manson has that ringmaster’s flair that goes with the territory, and has no problem interacting with the Devil. It also doesn’t hurt that the show uses his song “Cupid Carries A Gun” in the opening credits, which you can see below.

We’ll see how Manson fares on Salem. Let’s hope he calls someone at the local tavern a harlot and gets boxed thoroughly about the head and shoulders.

[via Metal Hammer]

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