Science Proves That AC/DC Cures Cancer*

  • Axl Rosenberg

Did you know that AC/DC stands for “Apprehend Cancer/Destroy Cancer”?

According to a recent study by the University of South Australia’s Professor Nico Voelcker, the effects of the anticancer drug camptothecin can be improved by cranking AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” during its preparation. Apparently, the song makes causes the drug’s medicinal particles to headbang — uh, I mean, to bounce — which allows doctors to coat them with a plasma shell; the shell, in turn, increases the drug’s longevity.

Explains Prof. Voelcker to In-Pharma:

“Normally, you only form the coating on one side of the particle, the side that is exposed.

“But the other side is not going to get coated. That’s where we came up with the idea of using a loudspeaker that would play into the system.

“It would vibrate and the particles would bounce up and down. The chaotic frequencies worked well, and give you a more homogenous coating.”

Voelcker doesn’t specify why “Thunderstruck” was selected for this purpose, but if I’m understanding what he’s saying correctly, it sounds as though any song that could induce violent vibrations would work.

This being the case, I think it’s safe to tell your metal-hating mom that extreme music in general helps cure cancer. If you phrase it just like that — “Mom, heavy metal helps cure cancer!” — you will not, technically speaking, be lying!

[via Classic Rock]

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