The Guy from Danger Danger is Still Alive Alive, Making Music Music

Do you remember Danger Danger? You don’t! Nobody does! There’s nothing about them that warrants a place in your brain (my most vivid of the memory of the band comes from an incident where a friend who was tripping balls confused first confused them with Duran Duran, then started saying “Danger Danger” repeatedly in the voice of the Little Caesar’s “Pizza Pizza” mascot). Even Wikipedia cannot be bothered to give the slightest of actual fucks about Danger Danger.

If pressed to describe them, I’d probably sum Danger Danger up thusly: they were a hair metal band for people who thought Winger were too heavy. Like Nelson, only with even worse songs.

Amazingly enough, Danger Danger’s singer, Ted Poley, is a) alive, b) making new music, and c) signed to a label you’ve heard of. That label is Frontiers, which specializes in 80s glam artist rescue — but still, the guy from Danger fucking Danger??? It’s a good thing Sebastian Bach can’t read, because if word got back to him that he was now label mates with Poley, he’d hang himself.

ANYWAY, this all came to my attention because of Poley’s new single and video, “Hands of Love.” To its credit, it’s the best song about masturbation to ever have been written under the influence of Zack Attack.

Poley’s new album, Beyond the Fade, comes out May 13.