Scare Tactics: How To Protect Yourself From The SJW MENACE!!!!!!


SJW. For most, this acronym was simply an opener to the About Me section on a lady’s JDate profile.

BUT NO LONGER. Today, SJW stands for Social Justice Warrior, a brand of anti-art activists determined to destroy our freedom, neuter our culture, and turn all of music into a barren safe space where writing a song of sex murder is PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.

The origins of SJWdom stem from the 1990s. Though most records from this era have been lost, it is believed that a group known as “sensitive people” wanted “most people” to stop “treating them less like people” through words and hand motions. But with the invention of Mother Internet and the glorious bounty she provides, these “sensitive people” were given a platform with which to fight the liberties that make metal an oasis of liberty in a sea of emotional fascism. They dedicated themselves to a jihad against concepts like “bigotry” and “ignorance” that it is believed they themselves created. Thus, the Social Justice Warrior movement was born.

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! These SJWs are lurking in YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, ready to tear gas your children for idly listening to Taake and plotting to steal your wife’s pie from the windowsill only to replace it with a FARM-TO-TABLE CIABATTA OF OPPRESSION.

Returning from a long day of subversive blogging, an SJW is seen going to meet his pepper spray dealer. Photo via The Sartorialist.

Thankfully, there’s hope yet. Dr. Reggie Caliente, Associate Professor of Groups of Dudes and Chicks at the Dunkelbergers Institute for Political Science in Wind Gap, PA, has been creating an in-depth psychological profile of these misguided do-gooders:

“These SJWs, or ‘wimps’ as they were once known, move from scene to scene like locusts, digging desperately through good times with tall boys until they find what they call unfair political malarkey, which they claim keeps other people from the good times with the beers. They then use aforementioned malarkey a way to silence artists who are just playing around with a little old-timey Teutonic imagery, while promoting their Angelfire sites and ugly Christmas sweater parties along the way”

If you’re worried that your son or daughter might have been radicalized by the SJW movement, look for the following signs:

  • He/she publicly dislikes a band for “discriminating against” a group of people.
  • He/she never uses the phrase “Go suck ya daddy’s cock” in the comments he/she makes on the Internet or social media.
  • He/she discusses music and politics as if the two have any fucking thing to do with each other.
  • The use of the word “transphobic”, ever.
  • A strong smell of pepper spray coming out from under his/her bedroom door.
Outside a craft beer bar that panders to thieves with its free wifi, a female SJW plans a meeting with her connections in Antifa. Photo via The Sartorialist.

BUT THERE IS HOPE YET. You, too, can fight the SJWs beating at our scene borders. When performed every day, these simple actions will chip away at the SJW lifestyle until it is only a memory:

  1. SPEAK FREE! The easiest ways the SJWs win is if they silence your voice by forcing you to think about every little thing you say. So do the opposite! Say what you feel, the minute it comes into your head, even if it’s motivated by fear, anger, or a patriotic statement your dad once yelled at you when you were a child that made you feel sick. DON’T LET THEM TAKE YOUR VOICE!
  2. REVERSE THE FLOW! SJWs thrive on being “offended” by things. Use their psychological tactics against them by acting “offended” that they get “offended”. Then, take your offense to a new level, using their rhetoric to point out that you are being as oppressed as any of the “groups” they “stand for.” GIVE ‘EM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE!
  3. DON’T RE-MUDDY WATERS! We live in a post-racial society where everything is accepted and nothing is sacred, but SJWs thrive on a fantasy where these struggles for equality are still on-going, and weren’t dealt with ages ago. Take a moment every day to thank God that these conflicts are over, and make sure to question every instance in which they are brought back up. LEAVE HISTORY TO THE BOOKS, TERRORISTS!
  4. MAKE AMERICA DANGEROUS AGAIN! When an SJW has conquered a scene, they call it a “safe space”, meaning it is a place where free speech has been wiped entirely clean. Take these “safe spaces” back by injecting some danger into them–using epithets that might upset SJWs or their ilk, wearing clothing that expresses the idea that not everyone is wanted here, and just giving off a general air that you might at any moment hurt someone for no reason. YOUR LIFESTYLE IS YOUR SWORD OF FREEDOM!

So DO YOUR PART! For all you know, an SJW CELL or a group of SJW SYMPATHIZERS has popped up in your neighborhood, or is commenting on a message board that’s one click away from your favorite website! Defend the metal scene every day, or it to might end up STRIPPED OF ITS PRECIOUS FREEDOM!

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