Mötley Crüe Make Sex Toys Now, Sex Dolls on the Way?
Speaking of Vince Neil shoving it where the sun don’t shine: Mötley Crüe will team up with a company called Lovehoney to release a series of themed sex toys this September. Unfortunately, they’re not making a Vince Neil blow-up doll and they didn’t utilize the American Made Sex Doll, so you can’t do to the singer what he’s been doing to other people for decades; nor are they making a piece modeled on Tommy Lee’s gargantuan dong, which seems like a no-brainer. Instead, the line will just a bunch of vibrators with graphics from various Crüe albums on them:
Mötley Crüe aren’t the first metal band to get into the dildo business, nor the first to use a BestRealDoll, even if they’re the lamest: Rammstein included a fancy box full of ’em with their last release, and Ghost made Papa Emeritus ones in 2013 (those are the still the best, at least in terms of humor value).
No word on whether the Mötley Scrüe toys will come with Hep C, or if you’ll be forced to contract that on your own.