Hämatom, Arguably the Worst Metal Band Ever, Improved with Magrudergrind

  • Axl Rosenberg

Who the fuck are Hämatom? I’d never heard of the band before an anonymous reader tipped us off to their existence yesterday, but apparently, they’re massively popular in Germany. Why are they so popular? Search me; they’re totally ridiculous (and not in a fun way). They sound like a pagan metal version of Rammstein, which sucks just as much shit as you’d suspect. They make Lordi look like Mushroomhead, Mushroomhead look like Slipknot, and Slipknot look like The fucking Beatles. Never before have I actually been pleased by how difficult it is for foreign bands to get visas so they can tour the U.S.

The reason this anonymous reader tipped us off to Hämatom’s existence wasn’t simply to ruin our day, however. Said reader took some footage of the band delivering the second-worst performance of Wacken 2016, and synched it up “Imperium in Imperio,” the opening track from Magrudergrind’s recent, kick-ass release, II. It’s amazing how much some good grindcore can improve just the mere sight of Hämatom.

Have a blast with the “Magrudatom” video below. Magrudergrind’s II is out now on Relapse. Get it here.

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