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Sin of Onan: A Playlist About Masturbating

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Let’s just get it out there: pretty much everyone masturbates. Unless you’re the most gorgeous person on earth and have never left your well-stocked harem, there’s been a moment where you’ve needed release and you’re the only one who can give it. And there’s nothing wrong with that! We all do it, some more than others (coughbloggerscough).

What unnerves me is the onus we place on masturbation in our society. Besides the obvious backwards accusations — it’ll turn you blind, warp your spine, put hair on your palms — there’s the claim that it somehow makes you lame to engage in self-gratification. Make no mistake, guys, when you walk down the street on any given day, the majority of the people you pass are thinking about pawing at their own genitals.

So let’s get in front of it. Here’s a playlist of songs for the masturbator, the person who’d rather take things into their own hands than play the game at some gross bar. And ladies, just because jerking hand motions and hastily-stashed skin mags are the cliche doesn’t mean you shouldn’t partake in this playlist or the act it celebrates. Let’s all pitch in and do our part, alone, with the Internet blazing.

Enjoy the playlist. If you masturbate to it, great, but keep it to yourself. Any self-starting tracks I forgot? Let us know in the comments section.

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