Punishing Pictorials

Rewritten Slayer Lyrics Reflect the Band’s New, Conservative Views


Earlier today, after Slayer’s Tom Araya outed himself as a total yutz, our friend Justin Foley from The Austerity Program (as well as this very website!) sent me a series of texts which read thusly:

“That Tom Araya thing is so baffling to me. Though they are not underground anymore, Slayer’s whole image is being transgressive. Nihilist, even.

“What could be more the opposite of that than cozying up to the next recently-elected U.S. President?

“Like, if you want to kid yourself that you’re being devilishly contrarian by ‘pissing off PC snowflakes,’ recent election results show hat you’re not being contrarian at all. You’re utterly mainstream.

“So your ‘extreme’ art shows that’s it’s either a) just affectation or b) that you suffer from an almost unimaginable lack of self-awareness.”

In Araya’s defense, it’s never been a secret that, to some degree, his image as a member of Slayer is just affectation — someone who truly believed in the lyrics to “Disciple” would not consider himself to be a good Catholic, which Araya does.

Still, I think Justin’s point is 100% valid: for many of us, what makes Araya’s comments so heartbreaking isn’t just that they’re ignorant, it’s that Slayer is supposed to represent a massive middle finger to the mainstream. Or, as Vince put it this morning:

“How sad that the frontman of Slayer — fucking SLAYER!, the most rebellious and angry metal band ever — has gotten to such a place of comfort and detachment that he’s as out of touch with reality as he’s making himself appear.”

It is very sad indeed.

So sad, in fact, that I hereby suggest Slayer now ditch all their most transgressive lyrics in favor of ones reflecting Araya’s actual worldview. I know, I know — re-writing all those lyrics will be a time-consuming pain in the ass. But lookee here, Slayer, I got the ball rolling for you!

“Black Magic”conservative-slayer-black-magic“Raining Blood”conservative-slayer-raining-blood“Blood Red”187962191SL029_Slayer_In_Co “Fictional Reality”conservative-slayer-fictional-reality
“South of Heaven” “Stain of Mind”conservative-slayer-stain-of-mind“Warzone”“Skeleton Christ”conservative-slayer-skeleton-christ“Americon”conservative-slayer-americon“Chasing Death”conservative-slayer-chasing-death

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