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Watch Some Nerd Taste-Test Metallica’s New “Blackened” Whiskey

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My first thought when I saw this story on Blabbermouth about a video review of Metallica’s recently released “Blackened” whiskey: where’s my bottle?? I could do a video review of it too! I should email Metallica’s folks right now and request one!

But then reality set in. Not only would I have no fucking clue what to say on camera about the whiskey — “uhhh… it has notes of E flat… and tastes like… uhh… whiskey… in the jar-ohhh-ah! [laughs awkwardly]” — but I’d be fucking hammered by the time I was done. That probably wouldn’t go so well, nor would it be informative to anyone.

With that in mind, My Bourbon Journey’s review of the “Blackened” whiskey — which, I remind you, is treated in black brandy barrels and inundated with low-frequency sound waves to vibrate that flavor into the product for an abbreviated finishing process — is quite informative and useful. The reviewer likens the flavor to that of a cognac and goes heavy on adjectives that describe sweetness, saying it’s not the kind of whiskey you’d want to go to every night, “not your standard bourbon or whiskey pour,” but could offer a nice variety if you’re looking for something different. That’s helpful. Sounds like the kind of thing you might turn to as a night cap after a meal at home with friends.

Now, about obtaining that bottle… I’d still gladly accept that if Metallica’s folks want to send one over this way. Holler!

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