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Dark Numbers’ Debut Album is the Shit

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Sorry to whine, but I’ve spent a considerable portion of my day listening to promos and, uh, it hasn’t been going well. It’s really turned into one of those days where you’re just like, “Fuck, no one is ever going to make anything good anything.” Which is bullshit, of course. But it sure can feel that way if you spend too much time wading through the sea of generic drek that can’t even bother to at least do the listener the favor of being a decent song. “Here’s a ton of complicated-sounding shit and some auto-tune. You’ll take it and like it, idiot.”

Somewhat ironically, the band to brighten my day was Portland’s Dark Numbers (ironic ‘cuz they have the word “dark” in their name and also ‘cuz I’m told Portland doesn’t get a whole lotta light). Kerrang! is streaming the band’s debut album, If It Was It Would Be So, which right off the bat is, like, the best album title of the year so far (and certainly the most timely, given the world’s current “reality is whatever we say it is and no proof that we’re wrong will convince us otherwise” posture).

But the album is so much more than just a clever title. It’s one of those albums I’m kinda loathe to try and describe, because I just don’t see any possible way I can do it justice. Some of it sounds like Alice in Chains if Alice in Chains smoked way more weed and injected far less heroin. Some of it is the same kinda doom/trad hybrid you get from bands like Khemmis. Two tracks, “Supernova” and “Gravity Well,” seems to be haunted. Another, “Fuse,” is like an interlude deominated by sci-fi b-movie synths. There’s a song called “Shallows” good enough to make you forget all about that Lady Gaga shit, and a song called “The Mariner” that includes not only includes an excellent use of saxophone, but is so depressing I had to stop typing this for awhile as I wept.

Guys: Listen. To. This. ALBUM!!!

You can do so below. Head over to Kerrang! to check out a brief interview with the band, too. If It Was It Would Be So comes out this Friday, March 25 on Nadine records. Pre-order it here.

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