Enlarge Photo Credit: Alexandria Crahan Conway

Slipknot’s Upcoming Tour Will Feature… an “Immersive Exhibit”

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I’m really disappointed that Slipknot’s braintrust didn’t consult MetalSucks about the “immersive exhibit” the band just announced they’ll have at all dates of their upcoming summer tour. As the foremost experts on What Corey Taylor Thinks™, we could’ve made recommendations for the exhibit guaranteed to enrapture Slipknot fans both casual and diehard.

Imagine a Zoltar fortune-telling machine, except instead of a Swami, the all-knowing Corey Taylor. And instead of spitting out a ticket, an immersive virtual reality experience complete with a holographic projection of Taylor’s likeness. Folks would pay good money for that!

But nope. Instead you’ll be stuck with “instruments, memorabilia, wardrobe and personal never-before-seen items,” which, from the looks of it, includes… a keyboard. Slipknot are asking fans to shell out for VIP tickets to see a friggin’ keyboard. OH, but it’s CRAIG JONES’S keyboard! Well then! Please tell us more about what other items Slipknot’s least disposable member will have on display!

Pheh. Really Slipknot should know better by now. Just consult MetalSucks on all things! Like that infamous singing telegram they hired to fire Joey Jordison… what a terrible idea, which we easily could’ve told them! Lesson learned, guys, OK?

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