Necessary Roughness Week 10: Everybody Loves Lamar

I spent my whole Sunday morning watching Michael Vick highlights on YouTube. They are insane!

If you’re much younger than I am, you probably don’t remember exactly how crazy it was when Vick showed up on the Falcons in 2001. It was truly like watching someone play with cheat codes. Not only could he run faster than fuck, but his arm was a goddamn cannon. It was like watching Madden on TV. He did all the things you allegedly couldn’t do. Then, he spent three seasons in prison and came back and lit up the NFL AGAIN! I don’t think anything he ever did on the field completely overshadowed his truly and deeply disgusting and disturbing crimes, but to say he was a singular talent is an understatement.

We got glimpses of the second coming with RG3’s first season before he imploded physically and mentally. Of course, what I’m getting at is exactly how special Lamar Jackson is. I’m not the first or last to compare him to Vick or RG3 or Randall Cunningham, but I think it’s really important as a football fan to step back and appreciate when something truly incredible is happening in real time. Lamar Jackson’s 2019 season will go down as one people make videos for like the ones above for decades. LOOK AT THIS SHIT:

I’ll use this last paragraph as another reminder that he was drafted after Baker Mayfield, Josh Rosen, Josh Allen and Sam Darnold and that a lot of (racist) NFL scouts told him he’d be better off as a receiver. Those top picks are all totally fine QBs in their second year – some having worse sophomore slumps than others (with Rosen being straight up FUCKED by circumstance) but Lamar is Tecmo Bo this season.

Ravens 49 – Bengals 13: I believe the Ravens are the best team in the NFL now. They soundly beat the Pats last week in primetime, their two losses were to the Browns (a division opponent no matter how bad they are) and the Chiefs (who are probably the third best AFC team, despite yesterday’s result.) They have also shown a ruthless nature in disposing of the worst teams in the league. Show me the team that can stop this:

Jets 34 – Giants 27: As much as I’d like to spend even more time tugging Lamar Jackson’s D this week, I have to acknowledge that my team is ass. Saquon had 13 carries for… one yard? Jesus. How is that even possible?! At least Danny Dimes was able to hold onto the… oh wait, no, he had three fumbles to go along with his four TDs. The Jets also suck, but they got a chance to light up our barely there defense, so that’s fun.

Vikings 28 – Cowboys 24: If my team is gonna suck ass, at least I can hate-watch our division rivals. I said a few weeks ago that Dalvin Cook was gonna have 1,000 yards by Week 10. He’s at 991. Dude is an animal. They need to ride his ass to the playoffs. Their best drive was probably the 13 play, 80 yarder in the third quarter. Eleven of those plays were runs. For the game, they had 36 rushing attempts vs. 32 throws. That’s about as balanced as it gets. Kirk Cousins, because of the effectiveness of the run, was effective himself.

Amari’s toe taps were fucking nice though:

Fantasy Pimp of the Week: I’m tempted to give this to Darius Slayton who provided the lone bright spot in the Giants game yesterday with 121 yards and two TDs. However, I think it’s important that we shine a light on Derrick Henry with his annual reminder that he is a fucking monster. 188 yards and two TDs including this run which required the entire Chiefs D to end:

Stray Observations:

• Tonight’s game between the Niners and Seahawks is going to be a banger. I really haven’t watched any SF this season. I’m curious to see if Jimmy G really is the game manager he’s getting a rep for being. I predict Nick Bosa goes HAM and is the difference between the Niners winning and losing. I think they’re gonna win…
• Will someone PLEASE get Al Michaels some new dentures? He cannot pronounce an “s” anymore and it’s really hard to listen to.
• If it wasn’t for Lamar Jackson, Christian McCaffery would be the clear MVP frontrunner. Without him, the Panthers would be out of gas this season.

The Number Twelve Looks Like You will be hitting the road again in a few weeks to support our new release Wild Gods. If anyone wants to throw down on some EDH or try to watch some NFL, please get in touch – my instagram is probably the easiest way!

11/29 Chapel Hill, NC – Local 506 https://bit.ly/2pKUAzD
11/30 Atlanta, GA – Masquerade https://bit.ly/2pIOqQy
12/2 Orlando, FL – Soundbar https://bit.ly/2W7TPg5
12/4 New Orleans, LA – Howling Wolf https://bit.ly/2Jquk4y
12/6 Fort Worth, TX – Tomcats Wes thttps://bit.ly/2MH0WJh
12/7 Houston, TX – Secret Group https://bit.ly/2MRyN29
12/8 Austin, TX – Come and Take It Live https://bit.ly/2JvNOov
12/9 San Antonio, TX – Paper Tiger https://bit.ly/31LlXXk
12/10 El Paso, TX – Rock House https://bit.ly/342uO8y
12/11 Phoenix, AZ – The Rebel Lounge https://bit.ly/35W9Vhc