“Genres That Don’t Exist” Album Introduces Unicorn Death Metal, Gnome Metal, and More


Anything can be a genre. I mean, we already have sadcore, slowcore, and chillwave, whatever those mean. Now eccentric indie musician Lou Kelly has put together an album on Bandcamp by the name of Genres That Don’t Exist, for the worse or for the better. Who knows.

Lou’s description of his project: “Back in 2017, I asked my friends to name some music genres that don’t exist but should.” The result: 21 weird combinations, from punk jazz to unicorn death metal. Most are under a minute, but you will probably click another track about twenty seconds in, because, well, there’s a reason these genres don’t really exist.

Have you ever thought about what cats in a metal band would sound like? Boy, do I have good news for you: 

Russian bears in metal? It’s more likely than you’d think: 

Avant-garde symphonic black metal? You can headbang to breakdowns and swoon to violins all at once:

These genres will probably manifest with time. If we have 100 gecs, we can have post-progressive reggae.

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