Mötley Crüe and Def Leppard Think Their Fans are Dumb, Still Won’t Call Off Stadium Tour

  • Axl Rosenberg

The rich fuckwads in Mötley fucking Crüe and Def fucking Leppard have finally decided to let fans know whether or not their fucking stadium tour with fucking Poison and Joan fucking Jett and whatever that other fuck about whom nobody fucking cares is happening or not… on June fucking 1st. Keep in mind the tour is supposed to begin on June fucking 18th.

Here’s the bullshit fucking statement:

“We wanted to reach out to all of our amazing fans and let you know that we’ve been hard at work preparing an amazing show. Our priority during this unprecedented time is to make sure that we are being as thoughtful and responsible as possible in the decisions we are making regarding The Stadium Tour and that we are putting the fans’ health, well being and safety first and foremost. We are currently weighing all options and are awaiting further direction from the powers that be. ⁣

“Our goal is to have an official update to everyone by June 1 outlining exactly how we will proceed. In the meantime, stay safe and healthy. We can’t wait to see you all again.”⁣ ⁣

“-Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Poison & Joan Jett”

Let’s be perfectly fucking clear: this tour is not fucking happening. Either they’ll have to call it the fuck off because of fucking health concerns (i.e. not spreading the fucking coronavirus more) or because people will be too fucking afraid to go because of fucking health concerns (i.e. not contracting the coronavirus).

We already fucking know that they’ll be forced to fucking cancel their fucking September date in Los Angeles because the fucking governor of fucking California has said he won’t fucking allow any mass fucking gatherings until there’s a fucking vaccine, which, according to fucking health experts who know what the fucking fuck they’re fucking talking about (i.e. not Donald “Inject Them with Fucking Bleach and Shine Fucking Light on Them” Trump) is a wise fucking decision. And unless Jesus fucking Christ comes down from fucking Heaven and provides us with said fucking vaccine, there is no fucking chance whatso-fucking-ever that there will be a fucking vaccine by the end of the fucking summer. Other states, where the people are in charge are fucking morons — e.g., Texas and Georgia — might allow the fucking show to go on, but the bands aren’t gonna do a few fucking dates for mostly-empty fucking stadiums. At this point, to pretend that this fucking tour has a snowball’s fucking chance in Hell of happening is fucking disingenuous. Period. Full fucking stop.

In fucking fact, plenty of other fucking events and tours scheduled for fucking June and beyond have already been called the fuck off (e.g., Download, Hellfest, Gathering of the Juggalos — nothing like looking like bigger fucking assholes than Insane fucking Clown Posse). These fuckholes think they’re gonna be any fucking exception, and they fucking know it. There’s no fucking reason for them not cancel the fucking tour right fucking now, other than that they don’t wanna take a financial fucking hit because if they weren’t fucking rich they’d have to develop actual fucking personalities in order to get anyone to fucking hang out with them and put up with their fucking bullshit. Fucking meanwhile, though, you and your fucking family are rationing Chef fucking Boyardee because you have no fucking money.

Eventually, though, they will have to cancel this fucking tour. When that fucking happens, remember that they treated you like fucking idiots this whole fucking time and don’t buy fucking tickets when the fucking tour is fucking re-scheduled. Show some fucking self-respect, you fucks.

[via Metal fucking Insider]

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