Don’t Worry, Kid Rock Is Still an Asshole

  • Axl Rosenberg

In case you were concerned that Kid Rock had suddenly turned into a good person at the age of 49, don’t worry — he’s still a total dick.

As you can likely guess from the name, Rock is co-owner of the Nashville bar and restaurant Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse. And since the beginning of the pandemic, that business has given about as many fucks about public safety as Kid Rock does about the fact that his home state was part of the Union. In March, they refused to close despite orders from the Nashville’s mayor, John Cooper, to shut down bars and restaurants so as to slow the spread of COVID-19. And although they eventually gave in and did close their doors…

…now they’ve had their beer permit suspended for serving customers at the bar despite the fact that Nashville’s current re-opening guidelines prohibit them from doing so. As a result, Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse has now joined a lawsuit, which also includes other Nashville bars, which seeks “financial compensation for loss of business income during state and local stay-at-home orders amid the coronavirus pandemic,” according to USA Today.

And hey, believe me, I feel for small businesses that are hurting right now (I just so happen to co-own one of ’em). But here’s where the lawsuit gets really stupid: it asserts that there’s a “clear disparity in how government officials were treating restaurants/bars compared to the individuals participating in protests.” Because being able to get blitzed while listening to “Bawitdaba” is of roughly the same importance as taking a stand against institutional racism and murder.

But even if you’re an “All Lives Matter” person (and p.s., fuck you if you are), the lawsuit’s logic falls apart immediately: Metal Injection points out that “indoor eating [has been] proven to increase risk of catching the virus, while research shows there is far less risk at outdoor protests where everyone is wearing masks.”

Rock’s partner in the business, Steve Smith, explained their side of the argument to The Tennessean, and did so in the fashion of a true idiot:

“The Nashville government is, like, communist. They’ve got us behind a Berlin Wall. We met with Mayor Cooper and the doctors weeks ago and explained how having bar service is safer than table service. They’re doing everything they can to put us out of business. The state of Tennessee is already in Phase 4 and they’re talking about holding us in Phase 2. It’s against our constitutional rights.”

Smith doesn’t say whether or not the doctors agreed with his professional medical opinion re: bar service vs. table service, but I’m guessing they did not and he’s proceeding with the lawsuit anyway because he’s such a big dumb dummy. Certainly, he does not understand communism. Or the constitution. I’d say there’s a 50/50 chance he’s also confused as to what the Berlin Wall was, too. He’s about one step away from comparing Nashville to the Third Reich. I’m sorry for the staff at Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse, who I’m sure are nice people that don’t deserve to be out of work, but seriously, fuck this guy in the ear.

Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits