Ted Nugent’s “Proven” Plan to Stop School Shootings: “A Real Commando…Trained in Tactics and Firepower and Criminality…Looking for Trouble”


In the mind of pro-Putin hard rocker and insensitive cretin Ted Nugent, the only way to protect America’s children is to lock them up. See, since a bunch of kids were recently murdered using a weapon that’s legal to buy but which no one really needs, Ted felt obligated to explain that what will really prevent school shootings — what will protect America’s children — is a single-entrance facility manned by armed military personnel with itchy trigger fingers.

Here’s what Ted claimed is the “proven methodology” that’ll stop school shootings (as transcribed by Blabbermouth):

“We are literally in a whirlwind of cultural abandonment, moral abandonment, parental abandonment. And only the guilty need to feel guilty ’cause everybody in my life, they’re all good parents, they’re all good kids. We don’t have any criminals, we don’t have any violent people in our life, in my band, in my crew, my neighbors — everybody in my life are good, conscientious, caring, lawful people.”

Sorry, just to stop and interject — first off, Ted’s always talking some violent shit until it’s time to play philosopher. Second, the reason we don’t trust his kind of “good guys” is because they’re usually just presentable bad guys. Cops shoot innocent people, priests molest the children in their care, and the “good boys” are often the sadists and date-rapists. Ted’s reasoning is pretty much the basis for metal’s existence — we all realized that it was traditional, lawful society that was the most vicious and heartless.


“But if you really wanna start, in this current cluster that we’re in right now, secure the damn schools. And this isn’t a guitar player’s hunch — it’s been proven. One point of entrance, all other entries locked. Have a real commando — I mean, a real tuned-in guy that’s trained in tactics and firepower and criminality, and have him looking for trouble. Not kind of casually walking around Parkland and maybe he’ll run into trouble — have a commando that values those children’s lives and have this commando, well-trained tactical capable individual looking for trouble and stopping it before it gets there.

“The great sheriff in Lee County, Florida, Carmine Marceno, he’s got the parameter secured in his schools. My great sheriff here in McLennan County, Texas, Parnell McNamara, nobody’s gonna get anywhere near a school if they look suspicious. We’re gonna look for trouble and stop it before it can have access to innocent lives.

“This is not mysterious; the jury is not still out. This is a proven methodology. But the Democrats vetoed legislation that would have enacted these proven safety measures.”

Couple of thoughts on this:

  • “Look suspicious” – We all know Ted dislikes Black and trans folks, so his definition of “suspicious” is some bullshit. He also loves dudes who walk around brandishing guns, so if some student came to school with an AR-15, Ted would be the first to argue that it’s his right as an American.
  • Not kind of casually walking around Parkland” – So, what about the Uvalde cops, refusing to enter the building so they wouldn’t get shot? They were trained professionals, on the scene, who did nothing. Would your “commando” do the same?
  • “Looking for trouble” – As a parent, there’s nothing I want less than this sort of dude near my child. First off, we’ve seen time and time again that these sorts of guys abuse the shit out of their power. Second, it sounds like we’re assigning some trigger-happy dude who learned “tactics” to guard…children? In Nugent’s world, my kid’s gonna get shot by a dude who was dishonorably discharged from the Army and trains on a trampoline in his backyard.

Anyway, watch Ted’s rant below:

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