I KNOW you’ve got some good captions for this one!

Buzzworthy new prog album worthy of buzz?

The follow-up to early 2013’s stunning Vertikal does not disappoint.

In a way, each Tuesday brings a harem of fresh girls to pleasure your ears. Or guys. Or girls and guys. Cough.

Stream a track from Cult of Luna’s new EP Vertikal II.

Win some free stuff from the dudes who do publicity for Katatonia, Autopsy, Orchid, and more!

Opeth & Katatonia descend onto Brooklyn for a super sexy Swedish songbird soiree…

514 metal albums, including records by Municipal Waste, High on Fire, The Sword, Gojira, Darkthrone, Testament, Agalloch and more are on sale through the end of March.

Albums by Gojira, Pantera, Sylosis, Machine Head, Agalloch, Wintersun, Testament and more are on sale.

It’s a concept album of sorts (shocker) and there are a bunch of samples of new music posted.

Be the cool employee on your cubicle block by knowing about these bands before they hit the big-time.

It’s your crazy time of year at work, so let us cue up all of this week’s heavy new releases while you relax! There, now doesn’t that feel better?

Other additions include Alleageon, Alpha & Omega, Antagonist A.D., and bands whose name does not begin with the letter “A.”

The progressive metal masters will release two versions of the same piece of music: one with vocals, one without.

Featuring members of Today is the Day, Ringworm, Murder Construct, Hirax, Monstro, Stallone, Allegaeon, Stoneburner, Vattnet Viskar, Nepente, Call of the Void, Zombiefication, Agenda of Swine, Translation Loss Records, Kaotoxin Records, and the hosts of That Metal Show

Featuring members of Pelican, Turisas, Shai Hulud, Wretched, 16, Pyramids, Angelus Apatrida, Ad Patres, Insain, Abstracter, Void Moon, End of September, Fisthammer, and Tear Out the Heart

Featuring members of Obscura, Exhumed, Asphyx, ll Niño, Brutal Truth, Kill Devil Hill, Lazarus A.D., Graf Orlock, Stealing Axion, Hour of 13, Morgoth, Moonloop, and… Axel Rudi Pell?!?!

Featuring members of Cannibal Corpse, Chimaira, Kylesa, Otep, Tombs, Sister Sin, Incite, Destiny Potato, IKILLYA, Jar’d Loose, Gravehill, and Slam One Down.

Featuring Members of Darkest Hour, Taproot, Intronaut, Aborted, Black Anvil, Author & Punisher, Abiotic, Hull, Meek is Murder, Gadget, Eye of Solitude, Laika, and Warseid.

In 2012, Metal Is A Many-Splendored Thing!