This may be the funniest read of the year.

Two-and-a-half decades of the Guns N’ Roses frontman hating everything and everyone.

“Consider that rather than use a guitar cord or standard wireless, that in the name of science and for all mankind Flea courageously had a newly invented breakthrough in microchip technology installed in his ass,” hypothesizes the Guns N’ Roses vocalist.

“This guy has been one of our biggest supporters for the last several years, and he takes a lot of shit about it too. So we wanna wish him a happy birthday today, Mr. Axl Rosenberg!”

Read about how he spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a New York apartment he never actually used.

We are left to reflect.

His ex-wife will auction items from their relationship next month.

It’s all in the mic stand.

Sometimes dreams CAN come true!

Metallica aren’t the only once-great band with a 3D concert film coming out this summer.

“Binders full of women? HA!”

Also, since when is this dude so happy-go-lucky???

You’ll never believe what I picked!!!

Vocalist Simone Pluijmers is over it.

Wires manage to suspend two-ton vocalist and his piano in mid-air. Also, people are still pissed about the Appetite for Destruction album art.

Watch the reclusive vocalist’s first live television interview in twenty years (or ten, depending on who you ask).

The last time Axl Rose gave a live television interview […]

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