Tag: sailor jerry

“Local punk Tyler Holtby “spun a web of lies” during a family barbeque last weekend, allegedly making up an entire fantasy football team in an effort to connect with his girlfriend’s extended family, according to multiple witnesses.”

“He did a bitchin’ pentagram on my wrist a few years back,” wrote one local fan. “It’s faded enough now that it just looks like a bruise, but when people ask me about my bruise, I’m like, ‘That’s the Cactus, baby!’”

Fueled by sudden inspiration after seeing a “cool” sailboat tattoo, one local punk irreversibly stained her skin earlier this week as a heartfelt homage to the time she saw a similar looking tattoo on someone else.

A local man’s intricate and rambling explanation about the meaning behind his latest tattoo allegedly caused further confusion amongst his group of friends, who immediately regretted broaching the topic.

Patrons of The Lockjaw Bar have been “totally let down” by the story behind the eyepatch on one particularly tough-looking customer’s face, according to multiple reports.

The band’s founder and leader talks about the spirit of individuality and DEP’s legacy.