Friday 5 0 Friday 5: What Metal Songs Would You Make Longer? Much Longer! March 13th, 2015 at 4:30pm MetalSucks Many, many songs stay too long. But a few songs leave the party before the dip is warm.
Tour de Force 0 Ozzy Osbourne to Join Fellow Senior Citizens in Las Vegas January 7th, 2015 at 1:00pm Axl Rosenberg He’s like a heavy metal Wayne Newton!
...And F*ck You Too 0 Jake E. Lee Says Sharon Osbourne Scammed Him December 11th, 2014 at 10:00am Anso DF The problem with the music business can be the music businesspeople.
Cinemetal 0 The Osbournes Television Show Officially a Thing Again November 14th, 2014 at 2:30pm Axl Rosenberg Life is worth living again.
Cinemetal 0 The Osbournes Television Show Might Be a Thing Again November 10th, 2014 at 11:30am Axl Rosenberg So fuck you, Twin Peaks.
Black Collar Workers 0 Ozzy Says Sharon Osbourne Will Decide Whether or Not Bill Ward Returns to Black Sabbath November 3rd, 2014 at 12:30pm Axl Rosenberg “Was that supposed to be a secret? Oops. Sorry!”
Vicious Vacation 0 Ozzy Osbourne Promises Total Boredom, Playful Racism at New Festival October 15th, 2014 at 12:30pm Axl Rosenberg It’s called Ozzfiesta. Because it’s in Mexico. Get it?
Laugh At Others' Misfortunes 0 Ozzy: Don’t Blame Me for Wacky 9/11 Statements October 10th, 2014 at 11:20am Anso DF Ozzy’s statements were “twisted,” says Ozzy
Laugh At Others' Misfortunes 0 Ozzy Osbourne: Still Sharp as a Tack September 23rd, 2014 at 10:30am Axl Rosenberg He has literally become a bad joke from a Ron Howard movie.
What the...?? 0 Sharon Osbourne Slit Her Wrists to Prove She’d Die for Ozzy September 19th, 2014 at 11:30am Axl Rosenberg Obviously, she failed.
Hipsters Out Of Metal! 0 Grammy Chowder: Sharon Osbourne Throws Food At The Truth January 29th, 2014 at 3:00pm Anso DF It’s like 30 years ago our drunk uncle married a syphilitic hairdresser.
Question of the Week 0 Question Of The Week: Absolutely Not Best Albums Of 2013 December 6th, 2013 at 4:00pm MetalSucks Which 2013 metal album doesn’t quite work out?
Upcoming Bullsh*t 0 A-Maze-ing Video: Ozzy, Geezer Tour Sabbath-Inspired Horror Attraction October 9th, 2013 at 5:00pm Anso DF No haunted house can frighten a dude who’s married to Sharon Osbourne
Tweet Twat 0 Ozzy Can’t Even Make a Sandwich Without Causing a Disaster August 30th, 2013 at 12:00pm Axl Rosenberg Sabbath vocalist almost burns his house down… for the second time this year.
Hipsters Out Of Metal! 0 Ozzy Attended The Daytime Emmys June 19th, 2013 at 11:30am Anso DF Your Sunday could’ve been worse.
Hipsters Out Of Metal! 0 Aw Nuts! RATM/Sabbath Drummer Brad Wilk, Punk Rock Wife To Divorce June 18th, 2013 at 11:30am Anso DF Alleged cause of the split? Selene Vigil-Wilk’s is pissed that Bill Ward doesn’t play on the new Sabbath album.
Editorials 0 Ozzy Osbourne Has Definitely Fallen Off the Wagon, May Have Also Fallen Off the Sharon April 16th, 2013 at 12:30pm Axl Rosenberg He does not deny drinkin’ n’ druggin’, but he does deny that he’s getting a divorce.
Greatest Hits 0 Give a Heavy Metal Valentine’s Day Card to Someone You Love February 13th, 2013 at 2:00pm MetalSucks These are 110% guaranteed to enhance your lovemaking!
Punishing Pictorials 0 FANTASY CASTING? August 15th, 2012 at 5:00pm MetalSucks Al Pacino as Ronnie James Dio
Greatest Hits 0 ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Metal + Hard Rock Musicians’ Wedding Portraits June 21st, 2012 at 3:00pm MetalSucks LARS ULRICH & SKYLAR SATENSTEIN Fun fact: Skylar also dated […]