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Editorials

THE MOST METAL BURGERS ON THE PLANET

 Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 at 11:02am by

When I think of metal and food, I usually think of microwavable burritos, overpriced festival vendors, and terrible, life threatening, ass ripping diarrhea.

Luckily for all of us, that will now change.

See, I’ve never been to The Windy City, but now I have reason to go: Chicago restaurant Kuma’s Corner, which features burgers and sandwiches named after every band from Sabbath to Metallica to Slayer to Maiden to Pig Destroyer to Lair of the Minotaur to Mayhem to Mastodon, whose honorary burger, pictured left, comes topped in BBQ Sauce, cheddar cheese, bacon, and frizzled onions.

Fuck. Now I’m hungry.

-AR

[thanks: Thomas C. Willis]

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  • Tim

    I live down the street from this place, it’s awesome. I recommend the Plague Bringer.

  • Tommy Leebowitz

    Haha, wow, the restaurant is so brutal that they even have a meal named after Hate Beak! Hopefully the menu item is a better idea than a parrot on vocals…

  • http://hookssobig.blogspot.com Wayne

    This is my favorite place on earth. The Mastodon is fucking incredible, as are the Maiden and the Minotaur. Great beer list, too. Last time I was there, they ended up playing lots of Tool and lots of Big Business. Heaven.

  • http://www.Myspace.com/Miksha Fritz!

    Wow! A burger named Pig Destroyer!! Man that’s heavy!

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    The Pig Destroyer sounds yummy.

  • Phil

    I ate there once and their special was the Goblin Cock, which was a hot dog on top of a burger. Incredible!

  • Greg

    I had the YOB with an Egg. Burgers + Eggs = One of man’s greatest creations. Seriously, try this combination if you haven’t.

  • PissChrist

    This place is truly a haven for metalheads, Alex is da man!

  • http://noyokono.blogspot.com noyokono

    I have been to Chicago many a time, and typically am there at least once a year. I have to check this joint out, because I am a TRENDHOOR.

  • ThrillHo

    What? No Dimmu Burger?

  • James

    not only these are the most metal burgers but the BEST BURGERS on the planet. I mean where else can you have a tasty burger and enjoy some High on Fire playing in the background.

  • catsaremetal

    I go there at least once or twice a week. I recommend the Nachtmystium, Plague Bringer, High On Fire and Lair Of The Minotaur. I took my mom there once, and she loved the Judas Priest.

  • catsaremetal

    BTW I started going there after they revamped their menu early last year, I remember going on a Saturday night and there would be empty tables. These days, cuz of that show Check Please, these shithead yuppies started pouring in. I remember Alex telling me a LOL worthy story about this yuppie cunt who wanted him to change the music to “something more listenable” and he told her that if she can’t take the Metal, she’s free to go somewhere else. Now that’s integrity right there.

  • TedTedPoleyPoley

    i’d love to order some Disturbed burger, yummm

  • razzo

    They have a Metallica burger, but no one’s allowed to post any reviews of it…

    (I hear tho it’s 45 year old bitter rancid meat between 20 year old sagging pock-marked buns…)

    • daniel

      Funny because i heard it sold over 100 million copies, sold out in every country and influenced most of the other burgers on the menu. But hey, let us know when your burger comes out.

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  • simulacrum

    ThrillHo Says: What? No Dimmu Burger?

    +1, nice one ;)

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  • http://www.sithomeandrot.com/celebs/ manny

    Kuma’s is quality. I go at least 3 times every time I’m back in Chicago visiting the friends and family.

  • http://myspace.com/newghosts Shnaz

    YES! Kuma’s Corner is the shit. Its cool to see that a bunch of people here live in the Chi.

  • Darrell

    Kuma’s is awesome indeed. The Mayhem is my personal favorite… though the High On Fire has been climbing the charts.

  • http://invisibleoranges.com Invisible Oranges

    I’m personally a fan of the Darkthrone, though it’s terribly misnomered. It’s the complete opposite of cold and grim.

  • http://www.myspace.com/xxxnthnbutscarsxxx Pandora

    The food at this place will definitely knock your socks off. The Metallica Burger was amazing and have a glass of DT to go with you. Metalheads will TRULY be in heaven.

  • NapalmFred

    This makes me want to move to Chicago.